Last Tuesday (July 29th), I was feeling kind of like this little flower . . . a bit out of focus, fading into the background, and hiding from the world.
The previous two weeks had been a chaotic combination of disjointed professional commitments and emotionally exhausting personal events. The upside of this state of mind was that it didn't bother me to be "tied" to my apartment as I worked on my home office de-cluttering project. The downside was that I couldn't seem to shift myself out of this "heavy" feeling. You know what I mean? Like you're wearing a coat made out of concrete?
I couldn't even make myself drive over to our little Lake Hampton, even though I knew it would help me to feel better. Then, I tried to talk myself into just walking down the hill to sit by the waterfall pictured below. "After all, it's DOWN hill, Jae," I tried to reason with myself.
But even the prospect of being in this lovely setting ~ located just a tenth of a mile down the hill from my home ~ couldn't motivate me to go outside. So, I decided to put on a CD of water sounds and meditate on the photo of the waterfall.
While my virtual visit to the waterfall helped me to regain some focus, it did not seem to help with my heavy energy. So I asked myself, "What would you tell one of your clients to do?" Which is why I started to do some simple stretching exercises. "Just get moving," I encouraged me. That's when I discovered how achy my body felt.
Just as I started to wonder if I was actually coming down with a physical illness, the phone rang. I dove for it like it was life a preserver, (which was the quickest move I had made all morning). And responding to my "hello" was my dear friend, Leslie. Just hearing her voice, I immediately felt lighter.
After a very few pleasantries, she got to the point of her call. "How would you like to go on a day-long getaway to the Adirondacks this Friday," she asked.
I think it took me less than a second to say "Yes!" Considering how exhausted and achy my body felt at that moment, what else could I say?
I still had clients on Wednesday, a big meeting ahead of me on Thursday, and lots of ongoing work to do in my office. But I decided that for the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being of myself ~ as well as anyone who had to interact with me in this state of mind ~ Friday had to be a day of relaxation and replenishing.
However, there were many, many hours to get through between that Tuesday morning and Friday morning when Leslie and I would make our getaway. I can't count the number of times I heard my Workaholic Self say, "I really should cancel." But the Good Friend part of me longed for the joy of reconnecting with a beloved friend. And more importantly, I knew Leslie needed this day even more than I did. So, Good Friend Jae won out over Workaholic Jae, and on Friday morning ~ just a little after 9:00 ~ Leslie and I took off for Lake George.
In less than two hours of driving ~ during which we caught up on our current life happenings ~ we were on the dock at Wiawaka Holiday House and Women's Retreat (see sidebar for more information about this wonderful place). We claimed a comfortable, old-fashioned, double deckchair, and for awhile, all we did was sit there in silence, look at the water and watch the boats sail by.
And as I sat there, looking at, and listening to, the waves lapping against the dock, in no time at all, I was letting down, relaxing, and just "letting go" of all concerns. Leslie decided to take a swim, while I settled for sitting on the edge of the dock and dangling my feet in the water. I couldn't believe how many big sighs of relief I sighed that morning.
In what seemed like a very little while, a gentle rain started to fall. But that was alright, because as I looked at my watch, I realized it was almost noon and time to eat lunch anyway. So we headed up to Wiawaka's main house for lunch, which was provided as part of our Day Pass. Sitting on the screened-in porch, near another group of women, we leisurely ate and quietly chatted.
After lunch, with the clouds still dark above us and intermittently sending us more showers, we moved into this screen house by the shore and enjoyed lake views like this on three sides of us.
Leslie and I sat in that screen house for hours. And, we did lots and lots of astrology charts. And we laughed, and relaxed, and sometimes just sat silently together. But mostly we did a lot of Heart to Heart talking.
We shared memories from our teen years, when we first met in art class and discovered that we both studied astrology. We recalled happy and sad times that we faced during the years in between. We recaptured the aspects of our ourselves that had emerged during times that we were close ~ like when we shared an apartment for awhile, or the many years that we worked in the same office. We marveled at how our ties of friendship were flexible enough to stretch and stay strong when our lives put distance between us ~ like when she lived in New England and Virginia, or when I was a continent away in California.
We voiced our thoughts and feelings about our recent life challenges and losses. And in the safety of a relationship fortified by decades of loving respect, we dared to voice our most dearly held hopes and dreams for our own futures, as well as ideas for possible collaborative ventures to come.
By the time Wiawaka's dinner bell rang at 6:00, I was no longer feeling like that little out-of-focus, fading, yellow flower. I felt strong and vibrant, like these beautiful blooms in one of the planters on the dock. And, I know it was because my "heart roots" had been gently re-planted and warmly watered by an very experienced Gardener of Friendship. Thanks to Leslie, I felt renewed.
After dinner, we joined the other duos, and trios, and groups of friends who gathered on the dock to await the sunset. Leslie and I reclaimed the double deckchair where we had started our wonderful day of retreat. And as I sat there watching the last rays of daylight paint golden outlines around a bank of white, puffy clouds, I felt a sense of awe ~ but not only for the visible beauty of this day. More importantly, I was in awe of the inner feeling of spiritual healing that I received from this day of relaxing reconnection.
As I wrote in my journal,
"Our society's fast-paced, "got to get it done right now" way of life, requires us to be so intent on our plans for who we should be tomorrow, that we start to forget who we are today, and how we got to be this person. Today has reminded me that sometimes the best thing I can do for myself is to stop looking ahead, stop going, going, going. Just STOP! And then ... back up. Just step back ~ both physically, and inwardly ~ like Leslie and I did today.
"We backed up from our "to do's" and our "have to's," and we allowed ourselves the gift of rediscovering the Heart of Who we are. We took time to see the beautiful mosaic of the many past selves that we have been, and to feel how all of the colors of those selves shine through us right at this very moment.
"Leslie and I are no longer working together everyday at a lobbyist group, but the experiences we gathered there continue to inform and influence us every day ~ even as we sit in a screen house doing astrology charts. And in doing those astrology charts, we re-awaken two teenagers that sat across from each other in an art class, admiring and encouraging each other's creative talents.
"Maybe I am just in an ultra reminiscent mood from sorting through all of the old papers in my home office (which is another way to Back Up). But, as the golden outlines of the sun disappear from the clouds ~ and this experience fades into another memory ~ I think the lesson for today is to find more opportunities to "Back Up". In Backing Up, we get a wider view of our life and a better understanding of why we are facing the particular path that lies ahead of us now. What better gift can we give to a friend or loved one? And can there be a more precious gift to receive?"
Now I invite you to take a day
(or just this moment right now)
to
Back Up.
Who is the first friend that comes to mind
when you think about taking
a day-long getaway for
personal renewal, rediscovery, and celebration?
Why that friend?
What is important to you about the person(s) you are
~ or person(s) you were ~
in the company of this particular friend?
Now go ahead,
call your friend
and make plans for a day to
Back Up.
Distance separates you?
You can work that out.
Be creative.
It will be worth it to give yourself and your friend
the gift of rediscovering
the Heart of Who you are.
Best wishes for a wonderful day.
And let us know know how it worked out to
Go Ahead and Back Up
We joyfully welcome your thoughts and feelings.
Simply click on "Comments" below.
Peace & Light to You,
Jae
