T-Shirt Life Review

Today's pearls of accidental wisdom come to you from the air conditioned comfort of my home. At 8:40 in the morning, it is already a very humid 73 degrees outside, and temperatures are expected to go up quickly into the mid- to high-80s. Of course, those of you in the Deep South are probably saying to yourselves, “What a wimp! She thinks that's hot!?” Yes, I do. It is on days like this one that I miss the cool, summer fog of San Francisco.

Since I will not be taking my daily walk until it cools down this evening, assisting me today ~ filling in for all of our animal friends around little Lake Hampton ~ is my shy cat, "Holly with the Big Green Eyes". She likes to sit near me as I type; and every once in awhile, she'll come over and poke me with her nose, or tap me with a paw, to remind me that it is time for me to adore her.




By design, I do not have any clients on Fridays. So, Friday is my day to do household chores. The first assignment ... the laundry ... which I usually start within a half-hour of having my morning coffee. Actually, I don't mind doing the laundry. It's a heck-of-a-lot better than grocery shopping ~ although Beth, my “I Love to Cook” friend, would beg to differ.

But being an organizational coach, laundry is a process that kind of fits right in with my natural approach to life. You gather clothes, and sort them into piles of like-things, and then clean those things by tossing them into the washer and dryer. Finally, you fold, organize them into “put away piles” and then put them away. And I can be doing other things while the washer and dryer are doing their thing.

Of course, there's only my husband and I creating our dirty laundry so I usually have only two loads of wash. So, granted, I probably wouldn't feel so good about this process if I had a week's worth of wash for several children. Whoa! I just got a flashback of my daughter's teen years . . the “wear it five minutes and throw it on the floor” era of her life.

Breathing ... breathing ... releasing ...
letting go of the scary memory ....

Okay, I'm back.

As I was saying, I don't really mind doing the laundry. Actually, when I get to the folding stage, sometimes I use it as an opportunity to do a gentle inner journey ... a sort of mini Life Review. And what do I use to guide me on that journey?

T-shirts.

No really. Think about it. You buy them as mementos of a trip you took, a concert you saw, or a special event you attended. Friends and family members buy one for you as a gift/memento from their vacation. You seldom have to wonder where they came from, because they most often have the city and/or state name right on them. And sometimes, they even have dates on them, so you don't have figure out when you got them.

Like this oldie but goody, from 1997, when I still worked in politics. I was the Communications Director for the County Legislators and Supervisors Association, a membership lobbyist group. It was one of my very favorite jobs.

Every year at our annual conference, our Executive Director gave each of the staff members a token thank you gift for all of the hours and hard work we put into making the event happen. This T-shirt has special meaning for me because of its connection to the staff's behind the scenes conference theme of The Wizard of Oz. I cast myself as the Wicked Witch of the West, and the E.D. had this T made especially for me. It was the last conference I did with them; I moved to the San Francisco Bay Area about a month later.

And speaking of moving to San Francisco, here's a San Fran T that I bought on our big recognizance trip to find an apartment. My husband was going to be moving about a month ahead of me. So, I wore this quite often during that month to feel connected with him until I could join him.

And then there's Maui. Strangely, Hawaii is a place I had never felt compelled to visit. It was my husband's idea to go there for the holidays in December of 1999. Wow! What a magical place. And every time I put this on, I'm wearing lots of magical memories.

[Holly Cat Adoration Break]

Now this next T-shirt brings me to a special time in life. By September of 2001, we were living back in Upstate New York. (The life of a computer geek can be quite transient.) With this relocation, I had the opportunity to continue my education, studying the holistic psychology of Psychosynthesis by training at The Synthesis Center in Amherst, Massachusetts. The artwork on this special T is the work of one of my Trainers, Clare Goodwin. She is an artist who has a special interest in creating Mandalas. She is also an astrologer, and it was great to have a teacher with whom I could share that interest.



This next T brings back memories of a fun afternoon during a chaotic time of life. 2003 was a particularly difficult year. Work layoffs, two unexpected deaths among family and friends, and the growing pains of reinventing my vision for my professional future. In the midst of all of that craziness, my husband and I attended the grand opening of the Guitar Center in Albany, NY. Both musicians (he plays bass and I play keyboards), music is how we met. As two of the first 100 people to enter the store, we each got a free T-shirt. We spent a lot of time playing instruments and checking out CDs and sheet music. All we could afford to buy that day was a set of guitar strings. But we had so much fun in that couple of hours. And, these T-shirts are our favorite things to wear to just lounge around the house.


And for the grand finale . . . here's my favorite T to wear for fun. Lots of dragonflies adorn both the front and back. Dragonflies are my very favorite beings in nature, and they tend to gather around me when I take walks in areas that they inhabit. This T also has a connection to California. I bought it in a little country store just off Highway 1. I was there with Connie B, who has been a dear friend since 1972. We had flown out to attend the Women's Dream Quest, held every year at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco.

So ends my guided Life Review via folding T-shirts.

I'll bet as you have been reading this,
you've started to do your own T-shirt Life Review.

Do you have a favorite T-shirt ~ or sweatshirt ~
with special memories attached to it?

Or maybe the memory is connected one of
your son's or daughter's Ts.

Why not share the story with us now.


And the next time you start folding that laundry,
take advantage of another opportunity to do a
T-Shirt Life Review.

Peace & Light.

Jae
(and Holly)

Go See if the Ocean is Still There: A Lesson in "Just Be"

After a couple of rainy days, I'm back at little Hampton Lake Park. It's about nine o'clock in the morning, and I've just completed my walk. (For those of you who were with me for our photo tour of Hampton Lake ... no Turtle photos yet, but I'll keep trying.)

My walk time today was 15m 32s.
And now I will take at least 15m 32s to simply sit here by the water and ....
Just Be.

Big Sigh!

As I sit here at my favorite picnic table, I'm thinking that long ago ~ before September of 1997 ~ this “just being” time would never have happened. The Workaholic Me would never have allowed so much time to be wasted just sitting around. I may have done the walk, because it had a good purpose ... like losing weight ... or because I tend to problem-solve better while I'm in motion. But I would have made sure that I always finished under my 15 minute time limit. And eventually, I might have turned this into a competition with myself, to finish the mile faster and faster by mixing in some jogging with my walking. Eventually, I probably would have been jogging the whole mile, or maybe two.

Would that have been a bad thing?

Not really ... if I truly enjoyed jogging. But I don't. I have the greatest respect for people who do like jogging. And every once in awhile, I try it again. But I still don't like it. It's not my joy. So, the bad part of that self-competition thing would have been losing to my stop watch the joy of just being in this beautiful place.

Actually, as I think about it, Workaholic Me would not have allowed me to even sit here handwriting this piece, even though technically I'm still working. I would have felt like it was a waste of time. So I would have jot down a few keywords and quick thoughts, and then gone straight to my office to type this on my computer. After all, I type over 120 words a minute; therefore, I can type almost as fast as I can talk. That's being more efficient. That saves time. And how you spend your time is as important as how you spend your money. That's what the old me ~ the Director me ~ would have thought.

By the way, one of the little muskrats just swam by.
And ...
A little girl has just discovered that geese are taller than she is.
Thus, she is adamantly requesting her daddy to immediately, “Pick me up!!”

But to continue ...

Exactly when did I discover the joy of “Just Be”?

Ironically, it was at a point in my life when I had the least amount of free time than ever before. My “Computer Geek Husband” and I were living in Northern California near San Francisco. He was putting in those crazy "on-call 24-7" Silicon Valley hours. I was working as an Administrative Director at a large counseling agency, going to college full time, and flying back and forth to Upstate New York to help my sister and daughter deal with my aging parents' health problems. Plus, of course, there was the usual day-to-day household stuff.

I must have looked particularly harried ~ or a little crazed ~ on that way-too-busy midweek afternoon when my Executive Director boss turned to me and said, “Jae, why don't you go see if the ocean's still there.” I stared at him blankly, not at all able to take in the words, much less figure out their cryptic meaning. So, he pointed toward the front door, and said, “You need a break. Go out and look at the ocean. We'll come get you if we need you.”

And so, dazed and confused, I did as I was told.

Now, having lived in Upstate New York most of my life, I fully realize that not everyone is lucky enough to have an ocean view two blocks away from their office. But on that day, I was so happy that I did. And I was in awe that I was working in a place where people would even think of sending me out to look at the ocean because they thought I needed a break. So, as I just stood there on the bluffs overlooking the Pacific, the Workaholic Me had nothing to criticize me about, because I was just following my boss's orders.

When I finally just had to steel a quick look at my watch, I was amazed that five minutes had gone by already. And in that moment, I could feel that my tensed-up shoulders had started to drop. I remember taking a deep breath and slowly sighing it out. I remember that because this was such a pivotal moment in my life. As my tensed shoulders let down, I realized that all of my upper body muscles were aching and that I had a headache. And I began to wonder how many other times I had been so tensed up that I didn't even realize how much my body was hurting.

So I decided to stand there for a little while longer. It was okay; they would come get me if they needed me. And as I continued to “Just Be” with that ocean view and the damp, salt-water air, my headache started to fade, and I began to feel better with each passing moment. I became fully aware of the sounds of the churning waves and calls of the gulls. These beautiful sounds washed away that ongoing inner dialogue of “what I have to do yet ...” which we too-busy people of the world often have playing in our minds.

And then ... surprise! I realized that I needed to eat something! I had been so intent on the high-priority list of things that had to be done at work that day ~ and whether I was ready for the class I had to attend that night ~ that I had forgotten to eat. No wonder I felt lousy!

And . . . here's the aha moment . . . If I felt lousy inwardly, I was probably, unintentionally, projecting that lousy feeling to everyone around me. I cringed as I thought about how many years this had been my normal mode of operating.

Looking around to my right, it occurred to me that I could continue to follow orders, and just look at the ocean, from the coffee shop window on the corner. So, I decided to take care of that hunger ~ to take care of me. And to the delight of that Workaholic Me and the Director part of me, came the realization that by taking care of me, I was taking care of our staff, which would help everyone to be able to do better work. By being nice to myself, I would become nicer to work with and work around. And thus I would be helping to create a better environment for every person who came into our agency. Which, of course, included . . . me! It would be an infinite loop of of joy and more effective productivity! Way cool!

So now, today, as I am sitting back at my desk, typing in this posting, I invite you to check in with you.

How are you feeling right now?
Are your shoulders tight and scrunched up?
Are your muscles achy?

Do you have a headache from taking in too much information?
Or from keeping track of that inner “to do” list?

Do you need to take a break? Have a snack?
Or really just sit down and eat a good lunch or dinner?

What have you done to take care of you today?
(which also helps to create a nicer working and living environment)

What have you done ~ or will you do ~ to give yourself
a little time to Just Be?

If you don't have your own idea for this "Just Be" thing right now, here's a quick fix.

Just scroll down to the photo of our little Hampton Lake.
Double-click on it to enlarge the image.
And for just five minutes,
sit back . . . relax . . . look into the water . . . and . . .

JUST BE.

Peace & Light to You,
Jae

(As always, your comments are joyfully welcomed.)

A Healing Circle of Strangers

As I write this first posting for Healing Circles, I have just finished my usual morning walk around little Hampton Lake near Albany, NY. Just a five minute drive from our apartment, my husband insists this is a pond. But the sign on the town building near the small beach assures me that this is Hampton Lake Park. Like many lakes, Hampton has a road that hugs its shoreline. Aptly named Shore Line Drive, this narrow country road clocks exactly a one-mile loop. The perfect place for an easily-planned, no-fuss exercise program, a quick journey around this tiny lake also offers a beautiful opportunity to experience the wonder of nature and to wonder at the nature of our how we experience life.

There are many of us “over-55” regulars ~ and lots of younger people too ~ who do a daily morning, afternoon, or evening walk, jog, run, bike, whatever, around this peaceful little circle of water. Most of us don't know each other by name, but we do know each others' faces as we pass in opposite directions ~ or even recognize body shapes, as we catch up to someone from behind and pass by them. We greet each other with “good mornings” or “how are yous” as we each quietly continue on our own way.

But, it is not only the human encounters that make this circular journey such an important part of my day. As much as I look forward to seeing “Young Jogging Lady with Blonde Ponytail” or “Taller Version of a Young Wilford Brimley”, I truly relish seeing my animal friends. As “Lady with the Gilligan Hat” voiced so well one day, “Don't you just love being a part of this little place in Nature?” And I do.

I know that most mornings, if I arrive at the lake parking lot before 8:30, I will be rewarded by getting to witness the noisy, honking show of a V-shaped geese-landing on the water. Or if the geese have already landed, they will hurry toward me to see if I've brought any bread for them to eat.

Just like people, geese have many different personalties. There are pushy geese who adamantly demand there due with much squawking and some hissing. There are shy geese who stand off to the side waiting to be noticed. There are geese that work in teams, pushing together toward you, until you are forced to just throw a lot of bread pieces up in the air. And of course there are the non-conformists, who just stay in the water, flapping their wings, dunking and cleaning themselves.

When the bread supply is depleted, I head out of the parking lot gate and start walking down the small hill. Why don't you join me.

Just a quick note before we continue . . .
Unless otherwise noted, the beautiful photos you see here
are the work of my professional photographer brother-in-law, Jerry Skrocki.

Staying along the lake side of the road, I may catch sight of one of the little muskrats paddling near the shore and then diving underwater to find food. Until I started doing this walk, I had never seen a muskrat up close. They are fascinating to watch. If you are interested in learning more about them, check out My Links. It was very unusual to see one of the little critters climb up on a stump that was sticking out of the water. I had just enough time to snap these two shots before s/he dove back into the water. (Thanks to Jerry for fixing up my photos.)

Often wildlife meets domesticated animals along the lake. Here a familiar kitty saunters across the road, pretending she is a tiger stalking prey. Field mice beware!

The yellow sign reads:
SLOW DOWN. Kitties & Kiddies At Play.

Further along, down the hill ~ about a quarter of the way along my walk ~ there are several large weeping willows that hang over the lake.

Just around the curve from here, I will usually see duck families and more geese. May and June has offered wonderful opportunities to watch up close both ducklings and goslings swimming and playing around under the watchful eyes of their proud mommas and poppas. Talk about how quickly children grow up ~ it's amazing how fast those little fluffy, downed birds increase in size. Geese babies that were up to my shins just two weeks ago, are now thigh-high.

Continuing around the lake, as I reach the halfway point along my route, I will be able to look straight across the lake to where my car is parked. (Another one of my photos, sans Jerry's help.)

There are always lots of birds singing in the large elms, maples and oaks that line this side of the shore. Other than your usual sparrows and robins, I'm not good at identifying birds. But I do know a hawk when I see one, and I have seen many here. And of course, there are the ever-present crows, gleaming blue-purple and black in the sunlight. Hawk and Crow represent powerful energy in the Native American tradition. According to The Medicine Cards (Sams, J. & Carson, D., Bear & Company, Santa Fe, NM, 1988), Hawk is a Messenger, and Crow represents the Law ... the Universal Law that is.

Over the past few days, there has been a Blue Heron visiting our little lake. Its presence has gotten a lot of attention. For such a big bird, it has been very difficult to get a photo of her/him. But yesterday, my husband managed to capture a very distant view of this amazing bird. Look closely ... s/he is at the center of the photo at the far edge of the water.

Not far past the half-point ~ which is approximately where the Heron is ~ I always look for the small family of turtles that are usually sunning themselves on an old fallen log, which sticks out of the water near the shore. Got to be quiet though. If they sense you peeking at them, they will quickly slip themselves right back into the lake. Whoops! Missed them again. But I'll keep trying to get that picture.

And so our walk continues. As I reach the three-quarter mile point, I go past a thick, tall stance of marsh reeds. Here I will sometimes catch up with one of the muskrat family again or at least hear something rustling and splashing.




My walk is almost done at this point. As the lake juts to the right, Shoreline Drive opens up to a place where a side road connects near a group of small houses. Soon, I will see the neatly trimmed field, basketball court, tennis courts, and kiddies' playground next to the parking lot where my car is. (Respecting people's privacy, no pictures here.)

Also located along the edge of this area is this wonderful marshy channel, where you can hear bull frogs croaking away, but you just can't find them.


And so I am back where I began. Checking my watch, I assess whether I managed to do that mile in less than 15 minutes. If not, I've spent too much time communing with my nature friends. Often a second loop is required.

But this morning, as I sit at a picnic table near the water, writing this to you, I'm watching a grandmother and her toddler grandson toss bread to the ducks and geese. And it reminds me that the real reason I come to this little lake every day has almost nothing to do with the physical benefits of the walk I take. Much more important is the joy that I experience from these simple, natural moments of becoming a part of nature's beauty and noticing my own aliveness in these moments.

Plus ~ even more ethereal, yet emotionally palpable ~ is the wonder of sharing this experience with a Circle of Strangers. Surprisingly, it is similar to a Circle of Friends who have known each other for years, and through their shared experiences can say paragraphs with two or three simple words. Like those old friends, this Circle of Strangers on the Lake ~ with familiar faces and recognizable body shapes ~ can express to each other the freshness of a summer afternoon shower, the calmness of an autumn morning's mist resting on the water, the joy of a bright, sun-warmed winter morning, the gentleness of a spring duckling's down.

All that, by simply saying, “Good Morning.”

**********************

This Circle of Strangers on the Lake is one of my favorite Healing Circles. I invite you share some of your thoughts and feelings. Do you have a circle of strangers?

It is my hope that as we continue to share in this Gathering Place for Nurturing the Feminine Spirit, that this will become one of your favorite places to visit.

Peace & Light,

Jae