Healing Circles ~ A Gathering Place for Nurturing the Feminine Spirit.

Winter Solstice: Celebrating the Return of the Sun, Our Earth Walk & Our Inner Journey

2011-11-28T16:06:00.001-05:00

It is the longest and the darkest night of each year. But, Winter Solstice celebrations are all about Light!

This year, from sunset on December 21st to sunrise on December 22nd, 14 hours and 56 minutes will have passed. During that long, dark night, at 12:30 am EST, Mother Earth’s northern hemisphere ~ in which we live ~ will reach its farthest tilt away from the Sun’s light. This moment is our astronomical new year. From that moment until June 20, 2012 (the Northeast’s Summer Solstice), each day we will gain approximately one minute of daylight.

Now, all of the above data represents the scientific facts about the Winter Solstice. But Winter Solstice is so much more. Think about how vitally important the Sun’s light is to us. Virtually, every living thing on Earth literally owes its life to the Sun. So knowing when the Sun will rise, as well as how long it will be before it once again disappears below the horizon, is also vitally important. Thus, the science of astronomy exists. (Thank you Galileo.)

Today, we take this astronomical information for granted. It’s just a normal part of our daily weather report. But imagine living in a time before we had this knowledge. Imagine being there, thousands of years ago, with the very first of our ancient ancestors as they began to notice that each morning the sun rose just a little later, and each evening it sank below the horizon just a little earlier. Imagine feeling as though the night was stealing all of the light and that darkness was taking away the Sun.

We may well have feared that at some point, the Sun would never return, that we would never again have its light and warmth, that we would have nothing but darkness and frigid cold forever. Certainly, those individuals who suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder, or Winter Depression) will probably have no trouble connecting with such imaginings. And anyone who has gone through very trying and emotionally dark times in their lives can also relate to the feelings of “this will never end.”

Just as we do today during our dark and cold months, the Ancients went inside. Inhabiting caves and other protective structures, they lived together and sustained each other, their bodies’ collective heat helping to warm their shelter. Hunters and gatherers, they shared the responsibilities of gathering food to eat and fuel to build fires .. for heat, light, and to cook the animal meats they had hunted and stored.

While they waited and prayed for the Sun’s return, they also would have spent countless hours sleeping and sojourning in the Dreamtime. Awakening, they would probably have shared with each other the dreams that they remembered. They would have told personal stories, reminisced, and made plans for brighter days. Minus all of our creature comforts, would they have been so very different from us now?

Today we are the beneficiaries of our ancient ancestors having figured out the “timing” of the Sun’s relationship to Earth. Of course, by necessity, they were keen observers of their world’s reality. We know through archaeological studies and digs throughout the world, that our ancestors built firelight altars and stone circles aligned to the sunset and sunrise on the Winter Solstice. Stonehenge is one of the most famous examples, but there were many such structures, some of them aligning to the Summer Solstice. We (and Galileo) owe them a great intellectual debt for the physical information that they left behind.

“So what?” you may be wondering. What is the point of all of my ramblings about Winter Solstice?

The point is that, whether or not we consciously and purposefully celebrate the Winter Solstice, we still celebrate Winter Solstice. Many major world cultures’ religious holidays are deeply rooted in ancient Solstice traditions and themes. They carry on the universal themes of Hope, Faith, Light and Interconnection. We Hope for ~ and have Faith in ~ the return of the Light .. whether it is the light outside our windows, or a lighter feeling within ourselves. At this time of year, the phrase “Peace on Earth and Goodwill" harken back to the strong Interconnection of the ancients to each other as they waited for the Sun’s return ... as they waited to be able to emerge from within Mother Earth and be reborn with the Sun.

Now, I ask you to give yourself the gift of Winter Solstice. Make yourself a nurturing comfort-food snack and something warm to drink. Get a pen and your journal, or just some paper to write on. Find a cozy corner. Put on some relaxing music, and ceremoniously light some candles. Then curl up with your writing materials, and journal on these questions.

Let the words flow straight from your heart. (Try to leave your head out it.) Reach within and find the Solstice light illuminating what you need in order to bring back your Inner Sun.

What Hopes and Dreams
are stirring within you right now?

What within you needs to be Lightened?

What part of you needs to be reborn?

What do you need to release ... to let go of ...
in order to make room to receive new Light?

What Interconnections need to be nurtured,
to be warmed and restored, by Solstice Firelight?

What dreams and personal life wisdom
can you share with your family and friends?

~~~~~

I wish for you and those dear to you

Peace, Love and Solstice Light,
Jae

NOTE:

If you would like to learn more about the various religions’ connections to Winter Solstice, Wikipedia has posted an extensive and very interesting article on Winter Solstice, which includes information about many cultural rituals and observances that “are believed to be directly linked to the Winter Solstice.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_solstice

Or, if you are more of a “curl up with a good book” kind of person,” I recommend The Winter Solstice by John Matthews (c. 1998, Godsfield Press).

When Walking Around in Circles is a Good Thing ...

2011-10-20T11:53:00.000-04:00

We've all done it.

Rushed around our home, frantically trying to catch up on a list of things to do before we head out to frantically run a list of errands to do. Then, because our mind is racing on overdrive, and our frantic push to rush has accidentally put our limbic system on alert, suddenly all of the dusty surfaces and out of place things that we have been able to ignore for X number of days, somehow come into perfect focus. So now we add dusting to our To Do list, and maybe even a quick vacuum. And, oh crap! Have to pay the electric bill today. And oh no! Absolutely HAVE to return that call from Mom.

As we pinball our bodies from one room to another ... and another ... and back around again, suddenly it hits us. Ding, ding, ding! "I'm actually running around in circles!"

It's okay. Stop. BREATHE now. Just take a moment to let go of that frantic memory. Breathe in. Then slowly exhale ... and consciously allow yourself to relax.

Okay? Good.

Now with that out of our system, let's talk about a time when walking around in circles can be a very good thing. After all, this blog is called Healing Circles. And here is the circle that inspired that name.

This is a Labyrinth.
Actually, this is OneSelf's portable canvas Labyrinth.
We call her Sophia, which means Wisdom.

All photos by Gerald J. Skrocki (skrockidesign.com)

First and foremost, let me emphasize that a Labyrinth is NOT a maze. There are no dead ends, and there are no crossroads that require you to figure out which way to turn. Rather, there is one single meandering pathway. And even though that pathway curves back and forth and around itself, it leads to just one place ... the Labyrinth's center. In following this path and reaching the Center, you can find your own center and experience the feeling of being centered.

Evidence of labyrinths have been found in literally every culture, dating back to 2500 BCE. They come in many shapes ~ circles, ovals, squares, rectangles and even heart-shaped. The Church adopted their use during the Crusades. And the center of the labyrinth pictured here is an adaptation of one of the world's most famous labyrinths, which is embedded in the nave of Chartres Cathedral in France.

But this post is not about giving you a history lesson on Labyrinths. Rather, it's about inviting you to open yourself to the Labyrinth's gift of Being ... while in motion.

Amazing things happen inside of us when we are able to let go of the outside world's never ending question of, "What's next?". Through simply putting one foot in front of the other as we focus on the single path beneath each footstep, emotional inner chaosbegins to dissolve.

This step. This breath. This moment.

This simple motion. And this one. And this one.

Collectively, these simple movements lead to an inner quiet and gentle peace of mind as we reach the Center. And from this center ~ our center ~ amazing emotional healing can begin to take place.


Labyrinth co-owners & facilitators, Connie Barber & Jae Way

Since April of 2003, when Connie and I first spread out our Labyrinth for a private retreat (held at Still Point Retreat Center near Saratoga, NY), we have felt honored to be able to introduce this ancient tool for healing to as many people as are wiling to receive it. At colleges, in churches, at health fairs; at appreciation events for hospice volunteers and healing days for nurses; at our annual overnight women's retreat, and our monthly open-to-the-public walks. We have been honored to witness almost 600 personal journeys along the path of our Labyrinth.

Most of our regular walkers stop by simply to get re-centered for the month, or they seek a quiet place to walk with an idea or question that they want to work out. However, others come to walk with very deeply emotional and poignant stories:

A mother and her son's wife walked the labyrinth together

after a tearful goodbye with their young soldier,

who was flying off to serve in Iraq.

They stood together in the center
to share their tears of fear and sorrow.

Finally, they walked the path outward arm-in-arm.

and

After a long battle with cancer and
having received news from her doctor

that all that could be done had been done,

a woman invited her four oldest and dearest friends

to share a walk to celebrate her life

and to exchange mindful, loving farewells.

Meanwhile, other walkers have wonderfully unique approaches:

A young engaged couple walked our labyrinth twice.

Face-to-face, holding each others' forearms,

they took turns to be the one walking backwards.

Afterwards, they told us that this was their way of
strengthening their trust in being able
to rely upon each other
during their future life's journey together.

And then there are the totally joyful celebrations. Dancing, skipping, leaping, whirling and twirling, sometimes with some of our colorful scarves floating on the breezes behind them, they express in movement the news that they announced as they arrived.

"I graduated from college!"

"My mom's going to be okay!"

"I got the job!"

"He's coming home!"

"I'm a grandmother!"

Whether a joyful celebration or unwanted farewell; whether searching for answers or simply returning to the path for a regular practice of taking time to get re-centered, each walk on the Labyrinth is uniquely personal and personally important to the sojourner. And each walk is important to those of us who have the personal honor of meeting these individuals who have discovered the unique value of walking around in circles.

Peace & Centered Calm to you.

Jae

For more information about Labyrinths,

as well as scheduled dates for our Labyrinth Walks

visit our website at oneselfcares.com.

From Missing Them to Rediscovering You: Refilling the Emptiness of the Empty Nest

2011-09-22T09:47:00.000-04:00

    I once read an article for a developmental psychology class that offered a great “Aha!” moment about the stormy relationships between parents and teenaged children. Basically it said that the defiant, disagreeable and sometimes out-and-out mean behavior that 13-and-over kids direct toward their parents is more than just hormones. It also has an important biological purpose of creating the right state of mind for human parents to get ready to have their offspring “leave the nest.”

    The article even included a phrase that I uttered countless times during my only child’s teenaged years. “I can’t wait for her to be an adult and move out!”

    Yet, on the day that she did move into her own apartment - which was less than two miles away - I actually cried. We were both shocked because I was never a doting mom. And although I had a job that I loved, many fun hobbies, a wonderful relationship with my husband, and many very close friends, I still felt an emptiness inside which the daily interactions with my daughter had once filled.

    Right now many parents are dealing with the many “firsts” after their youngest chicks have “left the nest” and moved to a distant college, job or their own home. Meanwhile, your home atmosphere feels “wrong”. Too quiet. You’re actually missing the endless phone calls reporting that teenaged plans have changed yet again. You may be feeling lost, drained of energy, unusually sad, and weepy. This is Empty Nest Syndrome. A type of depression that can be debilitating, ENS affects mothers three times more often than fathers.

    In the Fall, when most high school grads have left for college, Columbus Day weekend offers Empty Nesters the first chance for a short homecoming. They look forward to this visit with high hopes for a meaningful reunion and a brief return to “normal” home life. Thus, moms and dads may imagine lots of togetherness time. Meanwhile, young adults, changed by their 30+ days of experiencing an independent life, imagine spending some time with parents, having a favorite home cooked meal and doing lots of running around to reconnect with their old friends. The weekend flies by too quickly, and soon you are sharing farewell hugs and waving goodbye as your chick heads back to their own life’s routine. Often, the home nest may feel even emptier than before the visit.

    So now what? Start counting the days to Thanksgiving?

    Okay. But during that countdown, why not spend at least one hour of each of those days rediscovering yourself. With less time and energy spent on active parenting, you have more of it for you. IF you are open to the possibilities, this is a great time to make a new life plan for your future, and strangely, it begins by looking back. Way back.

    Try to remember before you were “Mom” or "Dad". What were your hopes and dreams? Although the Mom part of you looms large now, younger selves still live within you. The little girl who wanted to be a veterinarian. The teenager who imagined being an artist. The twenty-something who dreamed of traveling. The thirty-something who toyed with the idea of going back to school.

    Now it’s your time to open to all of those possibilities. Use the space of the Empty Nest as a place for you to expand and reinvent yourself, a place where you can hatch your own dreams.

    Maybe you are thinking, “Oh yeah. Just reinvent myself. That’s easy for her to say!”

    No. It’s not necessarily easy, but the process can be amazingly fulfilling.

    You may be thinking, “How can I start reinventing myself? How can I go back to school? I already have my kid’s college tuition to pay for, and ....”

    Slow down. College may be in your future, but no one is asking you to rush back to school and take on more than you are ready for. The goal is to begin to explore the many possibilities for expanding your circle of life experiences and personal connections. Maybe you can take just one fun non-credit evening class that will provide a new hobby and new friends to share your interests. Or you might do volunteer work for an organization that supports a cause you feel passionate about.

    You could even reach out to other moms of your collegiate's high school classmates and make plans to meet for coffee once a week or take a walk, or just to have someone to call who understands how you are feeling. There is also a wonderful online resource for empty nest moms (and dads too), offering support, community, and creative ideas. Check it out at ...

emptynestmoms.com

     If your feelings are overwhelming you, and doing any of the above just seems like too much to take on, a life coach or therapist can provide one-on-one attention. S/he can help you work through your emotions and find a new focus/goal for you to move toward.

     The point is to refill your void and shift your viewpoint from what is missing to what you have and what can be. Your phone will be ringing again ... but now it will be for you to make new plans or to change old ones.

    It’s your time to get moving. It starts with just one step today.

Peace, Love & Light to you.

Jae

Helping Your Being

2010-11-10T10:15:00.006-05:00

I was feeling wonderful. Still riding the spiritual/emotional high from my daughter's and my trip to San Francisco where we attended the Women's Dream Quest. I was happy, focused and inspired, as I walked into my home office. I was excited about getting back to work on a number of projects that I had begun before the trip.

There were the plans for our own smaller version of the Dream Quest. Plus ideas for a video blog to be posted on OneSelf's website and Facebook page. Now I wanted to bring the joyful energy of my San Francisco experience to my work. So, I began to do some brainstorming via journaling on the vision I held for our Women's Dreamtime Gathering. I wrote a couple of free flowing paragraphs and drew a few images that emerged during my writings. From this, I had everything I needed in order to create a newsprint ad to promote the Gathering.

Then, I shifted to left brain thinking as I made a To Do List for the rest of my week. That's when I looked up at my wall calendar and realized that I hadn't changed the page from October to November. As I took down the calendar, I reread the inspirational saying for the month of October. It is a quote from Emerson. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

I had been reading that quote everyday throughout October. But now, because of my experience at the Dream Quest … which got me deep into what lies within me … that quote brought another big smile to my face. Once again I felt thankful for having been able to share that wonderful retreat experience with my daughter.

Then I turned the calendar page to November. This month’s quote was from the Persian philosopher, Rumi. It read, "Be with those who help your Being."
I smiled even wider as I put the calendar back up on the wall. How perfect, I thought. My daughter helps my Being.

Sitting back down at my desk, I continued to look up at the quote. Then, I asked myself softly, "Who else helps your Being?"

I immediately started naming off the closest, important people in my life. My husband and my daughter, my grandchildren, and a few other family members.

But then, my next thought was that often there is an awful lot of Doing that goes along with being with family. Doing the dishes, doing the laundry, doing the grocery shopping, making food, picking up, cleaning, running errands. Helping them do something. Running an errand for them. Doing, doing. Which then leads to doing a list of things that you need to be doing.

"Okay, I'm tired now," I sighed. "That doesn’t feel like Being.”

Then playing Life Coach to myself, I asked, "So, who helps your Being? Your just Being. Your NOT doing. Your only Being?"

Now that was a different question.

When I want to just Be; when I want to slow down and not focus on anything that has to be done, or should be done, or could be done right now. Who do I reach out to?

Immediately, a whole different list of names came to mind.

"Connie," I said softly, "my Sagittarian soul sister for spiritual adventures." I laughed.

"Artistic Leslie and her kaleidoscope vision," I said, as I recalled us doing art together or attending art shows.

"Homebody Ren. A lifetime friend, she helps me to write from my Heart."

"Gentle Diana. Earthy calmness. Like a gentle, cleansing summer rain that refreshes you."

"Lauren. Youthful, yet wise beyond her years. Helps me see things from a different viewpoint."

"Celia. Insightful, with a dash of comic relief."

Six wise women had come to mind. Six women who helped my Being. In that moment, just thinking about each of those wonderful, precious friends, I felt totally relaxed. Totally present. Totally BEING.

And suddenly, it was as if I had been transported back to the amazingly gentle, spiritual atmosphere of the Women's Dream Quest. For isn't that what any retreat is about? Retreating is about our just Being. Even when we are doing something at a retreat … we are still just Being. Why? Because we are present to the moment, present to how our doing reflects our Truth. Our True Self. Our True Being.

And so now I invite you to ask yourself. Who helps your Being? When you need to stop doing, who do you call? Who helps to feed your spirit? Who offers you a safe haven - a place with no personal dramas - to BE your True Self?

Who helps you to look at life from a different perspective, to cleanse your spirit and to find an earthy calmness? Who helps you to laugh, to reawaken the child within you?

Now that you have made your list, go and make a date to Be with those who help your Being, and to renew.

Peace, Love & Light to you,
Jae

"It's Been a Long Time, Lady!"

2010-07-28T14:13:00.037-04:00

That’s what I said to myself when I realized that the last time I posted here, America’s famous groundhog weatherman, Punxsutawney Phil, was predicting that there would be six more weeks until Spring arrived ..... in 2009!

Yes, 2009. Really.

Soooooooo? What have I been up to during the last 18 months? Where have I been hiding? And why did I stop blogging?

Let me answer the last question first. At least I’ll tell you the answer that I kept telling myself. “I stopped blogging because I ran out of words.”

But, of course, that’s not completely true. (We often lie to ourselves.)

I certainly did NOT run out of words. My family, friends and clients will confirm that I am rarely at a loss for words. But what I did run out of was the creative energy necessary to translate thoughts and casual conversation into intelligible written prose. I felt creatively drained.

It was as if the writer part of me was on a work slowdown. Not a strike ... because there were times, when it was absolutely necessary, that I could still pull off writing a few paragraphs. But each sentence that made up those paragraphs was a struggle. I couldn’t even write in my personal journal. For years ~ dating back to the late 70s ~ I had written in my journal almost everyday. But in mid-April of this year, when I picked up my current journal to write about the death of my best friend’s father, I realized that I hadn’t written a thing in that journal since November 5, 2008, when I recorded the historic election of our first African American President!

That discovery shook me. Not only was I having trouble writing creatively; I was having trouble expressing my own private thoughts. And that’s when I resorted to having a handwritten conversation with my Writer Self. This is an old transpersonal psychology trick. You use your dominant hand to write for your Outward Self and your other hand to allow the part of you causing “inner issues” to express her/himself.

I’m right handed, so I used that hand to write, “Hey, Writer Jae, what’s going on here? Why aren’t our words flowing?”

And with my left hand ... in almost illegible penmanship ... Writer Jae replied “I’m tired. You have us doing so much business-oriented writing and have put us under so much stress to keep up with commitments, that there is no creative energy left for writing our book or even for writing in our own journal.”

I argued, “But everything we are doing is fun and creative. We love to write. We love to design workshops and retreats. We love to sit in a circle of women and share ideas. We love to collaborate with others.”

Writer Jae replied, “We do. But there is a difference in writing just for the fun of it, for ourselves, and writing for a defined purpose like promoting workshops and retreats, and designing ads and flyers. Writing has become work ... like it was when you wrote bill memos and articles about political issues back in the 90s.”

I was shocked! It was a pretty dismal thought that my joyful work as a Life Coach and workshop facilitator had anything in common with the ... shall we say ... “public perception driven” words I wrote at the New York State Legislature and lobbyist organizations.

So I lashed out at my creative self. “WRITING IS WRITING!” I argued defensively in big shouting letters. But there was no true depth of feeling under those words. It felt more like desperation ... like I was trying to hang on to a gift that seemed to be slipping away.

And Writer Jae replied. “Joyful writing flows from the Heart. Our Heart is tired because we are constantly listening to our Head. That’s what our present writing has in common with our old politically-driven writing. Our words no longer flow like a clear creative stream. We are constantly hitting the debris of your practical concerns, getting caught in the shallows of your physical challenges. We keep fighting to find a small current of pure creativity to ride. Meanwhile there is a wide river of deep creative energy waiting for you to open the flood gate in that emotional dam you installed about five years ago.”

Okay! Now I was really pissed at Writer Jae. My “physical challenges” which had started to manifest in the form of a “rash of unknown origin” on my upper arms and lower legs had been going on since late 2004. Side-effects related to that turned up about a year later. Both of those physical issues have been almost completely healed for awhile now. The practical concerns our family faced for three years are no longer an issue. And the emotional negativity? Well ... with the physical and practical taken care of, there’s no more reason for me to be having “emotional issues” ....

At which point Life Coach Jae’s voice chimed in. She didn’t have a designated hand to write with, but she made her point anyway. You know ~ you’ve heard it ~ that little inner voice of conscience that often shows up when we are lying to ourselves?

So, that part of me that sits across from clients in my Life Coaching office, now spoke to me as if I were her client. “What have you done to address the ‘emotional stuff’ you stuffed while you were in crisis mode for so many years? You had to stuff it then in order to be able to continue to cope with the crisis. But we know that the emotional stuff hasn’t just evaporated.”

Then Writer Jae chimed in, writing, “If we want our creative writing voice back, we need to let those dammed up feelings flow again.”

With a BIG SIGH and tears starting to well up in my eyes, I knew what I had to do. I got on the phone to dial up my own Life Coach, a transpersonal counselor who I had worked with face-to-face for three years while I lived in California, and via phone for two when we moved back to Upstate New York. After explaining to Michaela what was going on ... or NOT going on ... we immediately set up our first appointment. Plus, she gave me an assignment in preparation for that first session.

“If you can’t write the feelings,” she said, “bypass your writing/intellectual center and let the feelings flow out through your art.”

Michaela knew that in the past I had a practice of creating mandalas to express myself. I was amazed that I hadn’t thought of this myself, which really drove home how “dammed up” I really was.

So I gathered my art supplies and created a quiet, sacred space with candles and soft music. And in just a few hours, this mandala “poured out of me.”

"Surviving Heart" expresses what had been going on inside for those six long years of managing difficult financial crises, facing medical problems, family turmoils, broken friendships and countless other emotional uphill battles. I was totally amazed by the heaviness that came out of me. And I was shocked that I felt compelled to create the mandala on black paper. But only black paper could dull those vibrant oil pastel colors enough to express the feelings of despair that for so long seemed to lurk behind every positive idea I had.

Once the despair was expressed, depicted on paper; when the sorrow finally had a form of its own, separate from myself; only then could I feel truly hopeful. I could feel words trying to come through, needing to be put to paper. I started to journal and journal and journal and journal, providing myself the opportunity to truly feel again. Only after I had written down everything I needed to express to me ... only then could I even begin to flirt with the idea of once again writing down feelings and ideas to express to others ... to you.

So here I am. I don’t know how often I can be here and write to you. Heeding Writer Jae’s advice, I certainly do not want to commit to any set schedule. But I am fairly certain that you’ll be hearing from me in less than 18 months. And I certainly hope that I will be hearing from all of you very soon.

Peace, Light & Love to you.
Jae

Right to the Heart of What Matters

2009-02-02T07:48:00.065-05:00

Welcome to February. It may be our shortest month of the year, but it offers Americans more official holidays, and culturally special days, than any other of our months.

Just two days into short February, we focus our attention on this furry little fellow, the animal world’s weatherman, Punxsutawney Phil.

And, due to the bright glow cast by dozens of news camera lights simultaneously focused upon him, Phil always sees his shadow, offering us six more weeks of Winter.

There are also two president’s birthdays, now merged into one holiday known as President’s Day. But some of us remember when we celebrated each separately. Abe Lincoln’s on the 12th and George Washington’s on the 22nd? It was a school kid’s delight having two four-day weeks in one short month.

And of course, on the 14th, we have the romance day of the year ~ Valentine’s Day ~ when we give (and hopefully receive) cards, candy and flowers, professing heartfelt feelings and desires for loved ones.

Now before you start thinking too much about whether or not February really does have more holidays and special days than any other month, I would like you to stay focused on those heart-shaped candies in the picture above. No, not because they are sugary little treats that take us back to our childhoods. But rather, because they are indeed hearts. And it is our Hearts that I would like to talk about today.

In my work as a Holistic Life Coach, I invite people to “Create a Brighter Future, Honoring the Heart of Who You Are”. At our women’s retreats, I encourage our participants to quietly connect with their Center ~ their Heart ~ to “hear” what they Truly Need, to learn the truth of what is really important to them.

But today, I am asking you to not only Honor the Heart of Who you Are, but also to Honor, to Connect with, and to really Pay Attention to How you Care for your actual Heart. You know, that miraculous, beating organ within each of us that makes it possible for us to physically exist here on Mother Earth.

This week, Sunday, February 1 through Saturday, February 7, is Women’s Heart Week. Sponsored by the Women’s Heart Foundation, since 1995, the first week of February has been dedicated to raising public awareness and educating women about Heart Disease, the number one killer of American women.

Surprised? I was too.

Like many women, I thought Heart Disease was primarily a man’s disease, and that our biggest health threat came from cancer. But, as I learned on the website of The National Coalition for Women with Heart Disease, “Since 1984, more women than men have died of heart disease each year.”

On the Mayo Clinic’s Women’s Health page, I found out that Heart Disease is responsible for more women’s death than all forms of cancer combined. I was shocked. For years, women's health focus has been on breast cancer and uterine cancer. How is it that I did not know that heart disease is just as much of a concern. In fact, even more.

According to the Women’s Heart Foundation website (womensheart.org),

“Heart disease is America’s leading killer of women over the age of 34. Most women are not aware of this fact and fail to recognize their own risk factors for heart disease. Women's symptoms, especially those that are milder, often go ignored. Women often miss out on critical opportunities to save their own lives.... Women are busier than ever as they juggle career, family and care-giving responsibilities. For many, each day resembles a jig-saw puzzle in which a women is required to piece together her time and obligations. Now, more than ever, women need to take time out for themselves and be given a reminder: Take Care of Your Heart.”

Take care of your heart; take care of yourself! This simple statement is so difficult for our feminine spirit to really take to heart. I can remember my mother, who never held a job outside our home, but out-worked my father every day. Her workday began at 5:30 ~ before anyone else was awake; and it ended well past my bedtime of 9:30. I would hear her downstairs getting things ready for the morning while my father sat watching TV and/or reading the newspaper.

Now add to those household responsibilities the full-time job that most women hold today, plus helping our kids with homework and getting them to extra-curricular activities. Or maybe, you're part of the "sandwich generation" ~ age 40 to 60 ~ trying to take care of your own household while helping out your elderly parents, by running errrands and helping with maintaining their home. Add on the other end of that generational chain a couple of your own grandchildren to help out with, and where do you have any free time ~ any down time ~ to call your own. By the way, there's actually a Sandwich Generation month ... July 1-31 ... with an official website authored by the Sandwich Generation Resource Group. It offers resources for family members and caregivers of older adults and those living with disabilities. Find the link under my "Women's Heart Health Links".

Are you wondering at this point if my purpose here is to make you feel even more overwhelmed than you already feel? As I just re-read that last paragraph, I felt overwhelmed. And overwhelm can often lead us to feeling depressed, which makes us just want to lie down. Or feeling depressed can also often lead us to the kitchen, searching for some of those yummy comfort foods, which are often high in cholesterol. My favorite used to be a bag of the latest exciting flavor of Doritos.

But actually, it's all of the above ~ the overdoing, feeling overwhelmed, overeating and under-exercising, that are just some of the major reasons that Women now claim Coronary Heart Disease, which causes heart attack, as the leading cause of death for American Women. (See the American Heart Association link for more heart disease risk factors.)

So what can we do to change this statistic? First and foremost, we can't let the fear factor allow us to turn away from these realities, to ignore the facts and think it won't happen to me.

As we did with combating breast cancer and STDs, we must start to educate ourselves, our partners, our friends and family. We need to dispel the myths about heart disease being a man's disease. We need to understand how the symptoms for a heart attack for women are different than for men. We just need to know more and spread the word. And that's what this week ~ the first week of February ~ is all about.

Now, I know I have thrown a lot of information at you today. But I also know that the feminine spirit has the capacity to meet any challenge, once we understand what that challenge is. Now that you have more information and more resources to gain a better understanding of our challenge, I have one more thing I would like you to do. This one is pretty easy.

I would like you to "Go Red".

"Go Red" is a movement to bring awareness to Women's Heart Disease by wearing the color red on February 6th. That's this Friday. For more detailed information about this colorful women's movement, visit the Go Red for Women website, also listed on the sidebar under the Women's Heart Health Links.

All of this information boils down to one bottom line ... to the Heart of What Matters. We need to shift our thinking.

Maybe February's most memorable date shouldn't be Valentine's Day on the 14th. Indeed, if we are busy recovering from a heart attack, the last thing we need is a box of chocolates. Maybe the color red and the heart symbol that we now associate with Valentine's Day should also connect us to this week of caring for our own physical hearts and the hearts of all of those women who we care about. That way, we all can be here to receive those Valentine's cards and flowers.

Why, even Punxsutawney Phil is getting on board with the movement.

Peace & Light to You
Jae

Is It Spring Yet? Recovering from Seasonal Memory Loss

2009-01-20T17:32:00.000-05:00

How extra special of Mother Nature to send us a Winter that reminds us Upstate New Yorkers of what an old fashioned Winter was really like. She has given us snow storms, followed by ice storms, followed by a special January soup of snow, sleet, and freezing rain. And we've had those single-digit and below-zero days that make us all feel like we are walking icicles.

I have tried to roll with Ma Nature's winter punches and stay open to seeing the beauty in her work. Like on December 12th. I gazed out my front window at the trees, dazzling in their icy jewels. And even though the thought of getting all bundled up to go outside was unappealing, I just had to do it.

Grabbing my camera and stepping outside, I became a part of this perfect winter postcard. Just look at those sparkling trees!

Have you ever noticed how unbelievably quiet it is after a winter's storm? Of course, that quiet was broken the moment I stepped off my porch and the ice covered grass crunched under my feet. But, I had to get a closer shot of those iced pines ...

And these ice-encased branches ...

Okay. I confess that as the ice and snow storms keep coming, requiring me to scrape and dig my way into my car at least twice a week, I have become less enthralled with Mother Nature's frozen artwork. In fact, after our most recent storm, as I sat behind my steering wheel ~ car started, defroster and heater pumping out barely lukewarm air ~ all I wanted was to ...

have Spring arrive NOW!

I wanted to be walking around our little Lake Hampton; to be once again watching the geese landing on a misty morning, seeing our little muskrat swimming near the shore, and simply taking in the beauty of the trees and flowers.

Remember when we did that?
Sure you do ... kind of ....

So, when my car was finally warmed up and I was pulling out of my driveway, I decided that I just had to take that five-minute detour to remind myself that there was still a little Lake Hampton.

And this is what she is looking like as she waits for us to return for our warm-weather morning walks.

Parking by the shore, there was the green park bench I sat on when I shot this same view last Autumn. On this post-storm morning, I couldn't get to the bench because of the snowbank. But in the distance, there was our giant willow, looking a lot smaller without its leaves. Steam escaped my mouth as I breathed out a sigh of "I'm ready for Spring now." And then I got back into my car and drove off to start my work day.

Later, when I returned home, and downloaded that shot into my computer, I was still doing a lot of sighing and yearning for Spring. So, I decided to pull out a few more colorful memories of Lake Hampton. Just looking at those pictures helped to boost my spirits and to renew my faith in Mother Nature's wisdom. I was reminded of when I was absolutely sure that the very hot, humid days of Summer would never end. Remember feeling that?

So, I want to share some of these warmer season memories with you. May they help to remind you that like our circular walk around Lake Hampton, Mother Nature's process is also a circle. And soon, we will be trading in our winter boots for some lighter, less serious footwear . . .

We'll no longer have to huddle inside our heavy coats and bury our faces into the warmth of thick scarves. We will be joyously anticipating our first view of Spring crocus pushing their way up through Winter's brown debris to reunite with the sun's warming light.

We will be smiling broadly as we celebrate the arrival of Spring goslings ...

and happening upon a kitty pausing during her morning outing.

In no time at all we will be rounding the corner from Winter's frosty days to Spring's warming thaws and Summer's flower-blossoming heat. We will once again sit at a picnic table, looking out upon this peaceful view of our little Lake Hampton. And we will be smiling with the joy of being part of a Healing Circle gift from Mother Nature.

Peace and Warming Light to You,

Jae

It doesn't have to be perfect. Really? Yes, really!

2009-01-04T09:17:00.014-05:00

Here are some examples of statements I heard on a regular basis as a child. Maybe some of them sound familiar to you.

Dad:
“That picture needs to be moved. It is way off center.”
Reality check:
The picture was a sixteenth of an inch off center on an eight-feet wide wall.

Mom:
“This living room is a complete mess.”
Reality check:
Sitting on the floor beside the couch was one pile of old magazines waiting to be looked through before being thrown out. And there was sheet music sitting open on the piano, which I had just finished playing before I went to the bathroom.

Dad:
“Better to be half-an-hour early than five minutes late.”
Reality check:
Unless when you arrive early, it’s very cold outside and you have to wait for someone to arrive to open the door for play rehearsal.

And here’s the big one:

Mom and Dad:
“If you are not going to do a job right, don’t do it at all.”
(As a teenager, I often tried to get out of doing chores by proclaiming, ‘I won’t do it right anyway, so I might as well not do it.’)
Reality Check:
I still had to dust and vacuum the living room, and dry and put away those dishes.

So, why am I telling you all of this?

Because lately, this perfectionist behavior that was fostered with loving care during my formative years, and proudly practiced with excellent results throughout my adult administrative career, has really started to cause me problems.

“How,” you might ask.

And I would reply, “Look at the last posting date on this blog.” Never mind. You don’t really have to look. I’ll tell you. It was September 22, 2008 that I last wrote to you. The post was called “Heart Connections in Autumn Light.”

We are now “Freezing Our Butts Off in Winter’s Dimness,” and I’m finally managing to sit my butt down and write to you. So before I continue . . .

a belated
Happy Halloween
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy December Holidays
and
Happy New Year
to all of you!

Now, back to how perfectionism has caused my blogging derailment.

Bottom line: If I can’t do it right ~ and by that I mean as perfectly as possible ~ I have a hard time making myself do it.

And what factor determines whether or not I will be able to do something as perfectly as possible? Time. Perfection takes time. And if you live on a tight schedule with a long To Do List ... well, it comes down to an easy equation:

Less Time = Less than Perfection

(and according to inherited parental truths)

Less than Perfection = Don’t Even Start

Therefore, when my To Do List was topping out at over 30 items around mid-October, the “Write Blog Post” item on the list kept getting shifted to the bottom.

But why? I love to write. Writing has been one of my greatest joys since I was a child. I wrote my first play at age 10. My favorite jobs have included writing as an integral part of my work responsibilities. So why put off blogging, which is actually doing something I love to do? Because I need to do it as perfectly as possible, and that takes time.

Well, so does cleaning the bathroom, lady, but you managed to do that.

Now there’s a good example. In fact, just last week, I started out to do a quick spruce up of the bathroom to just freshen it up. But once I got going, my Perfectionist Self got out of control. It was as if my glasses had magically become magnifying lenses ... forcing me to see every little speck of anything on every little surface. And, of course, once I saw all of those specks ... well .... Three hours later, my 7 x 5 foot bathroom was absolutely spotless.

About fifteen minutes later, I was sitting back in my comfortable chair, having a calming cup of tea. As I sat trying to recover from my spontaneous cleaning frenzy, the moment of “Are You Insane?” hit me. I had just spent three precious hours of my time sponging, scrubbing, rinsing and polishing my little bathroom, and no one but my husband and me would even see it. And he wouldn’t care.

And as I continued to marvel at the level of perfectionist compulsive behavior that cleaning jaunt exposed, I began to see a wider of view of the effects of this gift/curse. If I could allow myself three hours away from my “To Do” list to do the unappealing task of cleaning a bathroom that no one “outsider” would even see, why couldn’t I find time to write my Blog? Again, writing is something I love to do. But . . . lots of people would see it . . . . . . . .

Is that the key? Who would see my work? Well, of course it is.

I couldn’t allow myself a spontaneous writing frenzy ... just let it flow and let it go ... because I couldn’t risk the possibility that it would not be as perfect as possible. I have read that some bloggers just log on and write off the top of their heads, not worrying about typos or missed words. But not me. I could never allow myself that freedom. I had to write it, and then reread it, and rewrite it again.

With the Perfectionist Me keeping watch and making sure that every one of those 30 items on my To Do List were completed with an A+ approach, it was no wonder that I was feeling like one of the great joys of my life ~ writing and blogging ~ had become just another one of those To Do’s.

So friends, today I have taken a slightly different approach to writing this post. Instead of the write, and re-write, and re-read and re-write again process I have taken in the past, I decided to just write. Honoring that changing ourselves 180 degrees in one spontaneous moment of Ah Ha is difficult, I am sure it will be difficult to just click publish as I complete this. But I’m going to try it. And, I’ll bet, that even if I’ve left out a word, or misspelled something, you will all be able to figure out what I was trying to say.

My hope is that my “bold new approach” will help to inspire those of you who also have a Perfectionist Self whispering negative messages into your Inner Critic’s ear ... telling you that you should beware of taking approaches and trying new things. I hope that you ~ like I am about to do right now ~ will allow yourself to at least turn down the volume of those negative messages. In doing so, we can reclaim the joys of “just doing” things that we love to do.

Peace & Light,

and here it goes

Jae

Are you a perfectionist? Check out "Jae's Links" and
take a quick quiz to find your level of perfectionism.

Heart Connections in Autumn Light

2008-09-22T08:32:00.013-04:00

Here it is. My first peek at Autumn 2008.

As I was walking around our little Lake Hampton, I looked down at just the right moment, and I saw it. This red leaf ~ colorfully lying there amidst last Winter's leftover brown debris and Summer's waning greens ~ invited me to stop for just a moment.

As I snapped the picture, focusing in on this symbol of September changes ~ this organic reminder of life's never-ending transformation ~ it was as if Mother Nature had gently tapped me on the shoulder to share a moment of nostalgic reflection.

Like a parent simultaneously celebrating and yet dreading her child's leaving for school, Mother Nature was inspiring me to capture a few of her Summer's fading memories as we prepare to welcome Autumn's return.

I invite you to take a moment
to enjoy these memories with me.

Glorious Purple Sisters

Summer's Yellow and Orange hues holding on.

Aging Beauty

Goldenrod's blossoms announce Autumns' Arrival,
bringing tears to many eyes.

Geese Friends thinking of Southern Shores?

As I watched our geese friends looking out over their Spring and Summer home, I imagined that they were contemplating their impending Southbound flight. In watching them, I fell into my own moment of contemplation about the changing season. It was a moment of connecting my Heartbeat to the Universal Heartbeat.

Twice a year ~ at the Spring Equinox in late March and the Autumn Equinox in late September ~ we experience equal hours of daylight and darkness. These are Mother Nature's gifts to us. Yin-Yang moments; balancing points of equal dark and light.

In the Spring that tipping point past the balance moves us out of the contemplative Darkness of Winter into Spring's time of planting the seeds of new ideas for us to grow. Our heartbeat quickens with the expanding hours of light, and we feel the urge to spring into motion with the rest of Nature.

Here, at the Fall Equinox, Mother Nature invites us to pause and look back at what we have grown and harvested from those Spring seeds. What wisdom have we nurtured during the full light of Summer? What new ideas blossomed into hardy personal Understandings?

As we once again prepare to move into the contemplative darkness of Winter, we begin to consider what aspects of our harvest will not only sustain us, but empower us. With the outer light growing dim, we need sparks from within to enlighten us, to provide us visions and dreams of new life vistas. The light that shines from within us deepens our Heart Connection to the Universal Heartbeat, just as gathering around a Winter Hearth deepens our connections to friends and family with whom we share that warm experience.

So now, I invite you to take a moment to pause.

Maybe you were busy and missed
the official beginning of Autumn
on Monday, September 22 at 11:44 am.

In case you could not take time to stop
to honor that brief moment
that balance point
between equal light and dark.

If you were unable to pause and be aware
of the tipping point that moved us closer to
Our Heart Connection
with the
Mother Nature's Universal Heartbeat ...

I invite you to take a moment now.

Focus in on the picture below
of our little Lake Hampton
as she appeared at the moment
of Autumn's arrival.

Peer into the water as it reflects
the Light and the Dark
of the Equinox.

And feel Your Heartbeat
connect to the sacred rhythm
of
Mother Nature.

Peace & Light,
Jae

"Gotcha" Body Dialogue

2008-09-08T09:38:00.031-04:00

It has been over a month since my last Healing Circles post. And, since then, I have truly missed connecting with you.

I wish I could say that my absence has been due to a wonderful farewell-to-Summer vacation with my husband, or another unexpected getaway day with my daughter or one of my friends. Instead, during my blogging absence over the last few weeks, I have been engaged in an ongoing dialogue with my own body, which has been quite adamantly reminding me that I have not been taking good care of my physical existence.

As anyone close to me will tell you, other than when I am taking my daily walk or doing hands-on de-cluttering projects, my natural inclination is to live in my head. That's where my intellectual and intuitive/visionary centers of the brow chakra is located. It's my true comfort zone. Add to this ~ as with most women ~ a tendency to "just keep going" regardless, and there you have a recipe for the body to do a "gotcha".

My big "gotcha" actually happened a few years ago. After a very long period of high stress, which triggered off a wide array of symptoms, I was diagnosed with Chronic Epstein Barr Virus. Very similar in nature to the effects of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, this "condition" is equally as challenging to learn how to manage and to live with. If you would like more information about Chronic Epstein Barr Virus (CEBV), check out the website listed under Jae's Links.

Since my Epstein Barr diagnosis, I have gotten much better at paying attention to my body's physical-symptom reminders, like

"Brain no think. Hungry. Eat now!"

or

"Excuse me. Headache!
Staring at a glowing computer screen not a good idea.
Take a break!"

Still, focusing on the physical does not come naturally to me. So sometimes, after ignoring its messages for too long, my body has to take drastic measures. And in a last ditch effort, it sends out a combination of stronger symptom-messages that absolutely force me to

"Just Stop!!!"

Which is what I had to do a few weeks ago, as I finished posting my last De-Cluttering Connection blog. Since then, I have been consciously slowing down and relaxing. I've had two doctor's visits and a couple of tests. I'm making a point to eat healthier and taking some prescribed supplements.

In addition, to complement this traditional approach, I also have been having some great Body Dialogues so I can better understand the symptom-messages my body has been sending me.

So, what is a "Body Dialogue"?

A Body Dialogue is sort of a conversation with your body that takes place in a gentle meditative state. As with any meditation, our attention is turned away from the outside world, away from our everyday To Do List, away from our analytical, intellectual processes. And, just like our Life Journey Meditation from last time, we allow ourselves to form a conscious, inner connection with a particular inner aspect ~ or physical part ~ of ourselves. Once connecting inwardly, we open to receive the wisdom held there.

I am sharing this practice with you today in case you may be interested in trying this gentle approach to self-care. You may be having a particular physical challenge of your own, or you may want to just add this practice to your regular self-care routine.

Getting into the habit of "conversing" with our Bodies now will serve us well as we look toward Autumn's arrival on September 22nd. Our body's connection to Mother Nature's clock is already anticipating the North East's colder weather that will reward us with beautiful views of Autumn leaves. With stores already displaying Halloween costumes, we know frostier weather will be challenging us to stay healthy. And, the busy Holiday Season that follows will create an even more hectic pace to our lives. Hey, I've already received a catalog featuring Holly Leaf Tablecloths and Snowflake Decorations.

At this point you may be thinking, "Jae, why are you trying to depress us? Just because you haven't been feeling well, do you have bring all of us down?"

Believe me, I am not trying to depress you. Instead, I'm hoping to provide you another holistic tool to help you avoid illness so you won't have to feel yucky or depressed. So here we go . . .

For a Body-Focused Meditative Dialogue
I find it is best to lie down.

Usually, our head/brain gets "top billing", feeling very important as it "rules from on high" over every other part of our body. In this situation, however, we want to honor that every part of us is equally important. Lying down puts all of our physical parts on a more level "communication field".

Since being physically-focused tends to be a challenge for me, I make a special effort to create a calm, nurturing atmosphere for Body Dialogues. For me, that means candles, soft instrumental music, a glass of water to my right, and my personal journal within reach. Plus, I hang a "Do Not Disturb" sign outside the door of the room so I won't be interrupted and to make me feel secure. I change into very loose, comfortable clothes. But not what I usually sleep in. I do not want to cue myself to go to sleep. I want to be comfortable enough to fully relax, but also alert enough to consciously receive the insights that my body has to share with me.

Once the atmosphere is set, there is nothing left to do but lie down and get comfortable. For me, this means lying on my back. For others, it may mean lying on their side. The most important thing is to find a position in which none of your body parts feel stressed or stretched. Oncee I am in my safe space and comfortable body position, I begin to gently encourage myself to move into a state of relaxation.

Note:

If you are not used to doing self-relaxation and/or meditation, you may want to have a trusted friend or family member slowly read the relaxation script found at the end of this posting, just below the picture of the rainbow candles.

I usually begin my meditation by whispering to myself, "Relax now." This is my cue that my meditation has begun, giving my mind and body permission to "let down," disengage from the outside world and be still. After so many years of this practice, I am also able to use these two simple words to relax myself in any stressful situation.

The full relaxation process usually takes about 10 to 15 minutes. Once I feel completely relaxed, I begin my Body Dialogue.

During my most recent Dialogue, I silently asked my body to send me a physical sensation to let me know where it most needed attention. I immediately felt a dull headache starting to form at the center of my forehead. This is a symptom I had been experiencing on and off for several weeks. I had been explaining it away as once again having "Forgot to eat!" But on this evening, I had been very attentive to making sure that I ate something to nurture myself before beginning my meditation process. So, I knew that this headache was my body's own way of communicating something of importance to me.

With that in mind, I consciously breathed into the headache, asking my body, "What is it that you are trying to tell me through sending me this headache? I am listening." Then continuing to breathe naturally, I just laid there quietly, waiting for the response.

Within moments, I "heard" the reply. Or maybe it is better described as I had a "knowing" that the words coming to mind were my body's message. Either way, the "explanation" my body gave me for sending the headache, came with the thought,

"A headache is the only thing
that makes your mind stop going."

This made total sense because I live in my head so much. I spend probably 85 percent of my time taking in information, creating and processing ideas, and then translating those ideas into concepts to communicate to others. And the only thing that will stop me is a bad headache. If it hurts to think, I'm done.

Receiving this message, and knowing its truth, I thanked my body for sharing its wisdom. And then, I apologized to my body for having ignored its messages.

But my body had more to tell me.

No sooner had I acknowledged the headache, than it began to fade away. Seconds later, my left leg started to ache. Once again, I breathed into the ache, and asked for more guidance. The ache narrowed into a more intense soreness behind my knee and upward into the back of my lower left thigh. That area had been bothering me on and off for several days. I was eager to hear this message.

"Less sitting and thinking.
More exploring.
We need exercise to be healthy."

This I did not fully understand. But I did not allow myself to get into an analytical process about why it didn't make sense. Instead, I simply thought, "Please tell me more." In response, I received,

"You need to feel like you're going somewhere.
Exercise in one place does not work.
Hurried exercise in any setting does not either.
Distracted, we get hurt."

I still didn't get it, and I asked again, "Please tell me more." The final response made everything clear to me.

"Find continuity and balance both inside and out.
Strengthen by moving with awareness."

"Ahhh! Gotcha!" I replied inwardly.

With a clear sense that my body dialogue was over, I focused on my whole body once again. As the soreness faded from my leg, I turned my attention to the top of my head, and started the process of rejoining the physical world.

Simply focusing on each area of my body from my head down to my toes, I invited all parts of myself to awaken, feeling physically whole, fully awake, and aware of my surroundings and my experience. Taking a few moments to become fully connected to the outside world, I sat up, slowly drank some water, and then journaled about what I had learned.

"The first and second message from my leg reminded me that over the summer, my daily walking routine had become sporadic. Since I do not do well in temperatures over 80, I started a more traditional stretching exercise routine in the air-conditioned comfort of home.

"However, since I do most of my administrative work and writing at home, I have a hard time disengaging from my work process in order to fully focus on those boring, in-one-place exercises. I like to feel like I'm going somewhere ... even it is only going around the circle of a little lake. As it got hotter and hotter outside, I was forced to stay inside more often. Gradually, I was doing less and less exercising, but a lot more work at home. There were no more relaxing morning moments of sitting by the lake and "just being". Thus the headaches?

"I did finally realize I was getting off track, so I knew that I needed to get back to walking by the lake. In order to do this, I decided I had to hurry up and get out there earlier in the morning to beat the heat. Through my hurrying outside and being distracted inside, I must have somehow strained something in my left leg. But sitting and thinking is not going to make it better.

"The last message from my body offers coaching encouragement that I would give to my own clients.

"Find continuity and balance both inside and out.
Strengthen by moving with awareness.'

"Now it's up to me to honor that I 'got it' and to translate my body's encouragement into concrete practices. With the cooler weather upon, this should be fairly easy to do. But I also need to look ahead to when the very cold weather drives inside once again. Much to ponder."

Wishing you wisdom-filled Body-Focused Dialogues
to which you can reply
"Ahha! Gotcha."

As always, your comments are joyfully received.

Peace & Light,
Jae

Suggested Relaxation Script

"Relax now.

Settling into this nurturing environment,
take a little time to just breathe softly.

Sigh into the comfort of this peaceful moment,
and allow yourself to sink into the freedom of "just being".

Next, take a few minutes to be fully aware of your body.

Starting at your feet and moving slowly upward,
begin to focus your attention to each area of your body
and invite it to relax.

feet, ankles,
shins and calves,
knees and thighs
relax.

abdomen, hips,
buttocks, and lower back
relax.

waist, solar plexus,
and back behind this area
relax.

breasts, heart area
and upper back
relax.

becoming aware of your spine,
focus on your tail bone
and follow your spine up to your neck
relaxing each vertebrae.

now focus on your left arm,
starting at your hand and wrist,
then your left forearm,
elbow, upper arm and shoulder
relax every part of your left arm.

now focus on your right arm,
starting at your hand and wrist,
then your right forearm,
elbow, upper arm, and shoulder
relax every part of your right arm.

next move your attention to your throat
and relax this are of communication.

and now move your attention to your neck,
becoming aware of the strong muscles
that support your head
invite these muscles to
relax.

now focus on your face,
your jaw and mouth,
your cheekbones,
your nose, eyes and ears
relaxing all of the senses.

bring awareness to your brow
and relax.

your forehead
and relax.

both sides of your head
relax.

the back of your head
relaxing.

and finally
the very top of your head
allowing complete relaxation.

Having acknowledged every part of
your physical being from toe to head,
allow yourself to just lie still in this relaxed state.

As you fully sink into complete relaxation,
become aware of your whole body.

From this awareness
of the entire physical entity that is you,
invite your body to speak to you
through physical sensations.
Ask it to draw your attention to the part of you
that most needs your special attention at this time.

Breathe into this part of your body that is calling to you,
and hear everything it has to tell you."

A Life Journey Meditation

2008-08-17T08:10:00.087-04:00

Today, I invite you to take a few minutes to sit back and enjoy a very brief meditation. This inner journey offers an opportunity for us to discover ~ or rediscover ~ some feelings or ideas that may be lying beneath the "mind clutter" of our everyday thoughts and responsibilities.

So, turn off your phone and any noise-creating devices. Dim the lights, and sit back in a comfortable position. You may want to put a piece of paper and a pen in front of you, so you can write about your experience when you "return".

Now, simply read the brief induction below, and then focus on the picture. Know that this is your own personal journey, from which you can safely return to your chair at any time. After you return, scroll down to the bottom of this post for further instructions.

Let's Begin.

Imagine yourself standing at the opening of a little wooded path. Although it may look small and insignificant, it is one of the many important paths along your Life's Journey.

Feel the ground beneath your feet.
See the green leaves and the brown tree trunks.
Let your eyes follow the path,
noticing the tufts of grass, the tree roots and stones.

Now, imagine yourself walking along this path.

Feel the cool shadows and the warm sunlight,
gently filtering through the trees.

As you safely walk further into the woods,
the path curves to your left,
and you discover something that is for you alone.

It could be an old friend.
Or cherished family member.
A forgotten idea. A missed opportunity.
Or a brand new insight about yourself.

And continuing down the path,
as you are ready,
allow your eyes to gently close
and go within.

Welcome back.

Now that you have returned, you may want to take a little time to journal about your experience while it is still fresh.

Don't worry about grammar or spelling.
Just let the words flow as you
recapture your feelings and insights.

As always, we would be honored
if you wish to share.

Peace & Light to You,
Jae

Go Ahead and Back Up

2008-08-06T14:26:00.144-04:00

Last Tuesday (July 29th), I was feeling kind of like this little flower . . . a bit out of focus, fading into the background, and hiding from the world.

The previous two weeks had been a chaotic combination of disjointed professional commitments and emotionally exhausting personal events. The upside of this state of mind was that it didn't bother me to be "tied" to my apartment as I worked on my home office de-cluttering project. The downside was that I couldn't seem to shift myself out of this "heavy" feeling. You know what I mean? Like you're wearing a coat made out of concrete?

I couldn't even make myself drive over to our little Lake Hampton, even though I knew it would help me to feel better. Then, I tried to talk myself into just walking down the hill to sit by the waterfall pictured below. "After all, it's DOWN hill, Jae," I tried to reason with myself.

But even the prospect of being in this lovely setting ~ located just a tenth of a mile down the hill from my home ~ couldn't motivate me to go outside. So, I decided to put on a CD of water sounds and meditate on the photo of the waterfall.

While my virtual visit to the waterfall helped me to regain some focus, it did not seem to help with my heavy energy. So I asked myself, "What would you tell one of your clients to do?" Which is why I started to do some simple stretching exercises. "Just get moving," I encouraged me. That's when I discovered how achy my body felt.

Just as I started to wonder if I was actually coming down with a physical illness, the phone rang. I dove for it like it was life a preserver, (which was the quickest move I had made all morning). And responding to my "hello" was my dear friend, Leslie. Just hearing her voice, I immediately felt lighter.

After a very few pleasantries, she got to the point of her call. "How would you like to go on a day-long getaway to the Adirondacks this Friday," she asked.

I think it took me less than a second to say "Yes!" Considering how exhausted and achy my body felt at that moment, what else could I say?

I still had clients on Wednesday, a big meeting ahead of me on Thursday, and lots of ongoing work to do in my office. But I decided that for the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being of myself ~ as well as anyone who had to interact with me in this state of mind ~ Friday had to be a day of relaxation and replenishing.

However, there were many, many hours to get through between that Tuesday morning and Friday morning when Leslie and I would make our getaway. I can't count the number of times I heard my Workaholic Self say, "I really should cancel." But the Good Friend part of me longed for the joy of reconnecting with a beloved friend. And more importantly, I knew Leslie needed this day even more than I did. So, Good Friend Jae won out over Workaholic Jae, and on Friday morning ~ just a little after 9:00 ~ Leslie and I took off for Lake George.

In less than two hours of driving ~ during which we caught up on our current life happenings ~ we were on the dock at Wiawaka Holiday House and Women's Retreat (see sidebar for more information about this wonderful place). We claimed a comfortable, old-fashioned, double deckchair, and for awhile, all we did was sit there in silence, look at the water and watch the boats sail by.

And as I sat there, looking at, and listening to, the waves lapping against the dock, in no time at all, I was letting down, relaxing, and just "letting go" of all concerns. Leslie decided to take a swim, while I settled for sitting on the edge of the dock and dangling my feet in the water. I couldn't believe how many big sighs of relief I sighed that morning.

In what seemed like a very little while, a gentle rain started to fall. But that was alright, because as I looked at my watch, I realized it was almost noon and time to eat lunch anyway. So we headed up to Wiawaka's main house for lunch, which was provided as part of our Day Pass. Sitting on the screened-in porch, near another group of women, we leisurely ate and quietly chatted.

After lunch, with the clouds still dark above us and intermittently sending us more showers, we moved into this screen house by the shore and enjoyed lake views like this on three sides of us.

Leslie and I sat in that screen house for hours. And, we did lots and lots of astrology charts. And we laughed, and relaxed, and sometimes just sat silently together. But mostly we did a lot of Heart to Heart talking.

We shared memories from our teen years, when we first met in art class and discovered that we both studied astrology. We recalled happy and sad times that we faced during the years in between. We recaptured the aspects of our ourselves that had emerged during times that we were close ~ like when we shared an apartment for awhile, or the many years that we worked in the same office. We marveled at how our ties of friendship were flexible enough to stretch and stay strong when our lives put distance between us ~ like when she lived in New England and Virginia, or when I was a continent away in California.

We voiced our thoughts and feelings about our recent life challenges and losses. And in the safety of a relationship fortified by decades of loving respect, we dared to voice our most dearly held hopes and dreams for our own futures, as well as ideas for possible collaborative ventures to come.

By the time Wiawaka's dinner bell rang at 6:00, I was no longer feeling like that little out-of-focus, fading, yellow flower. I felt strong and vibrant, like these beautiful blooms in one of the planters on the dock. And, I know it was because my "heart roots" had been gently re-planted and warmly watered by an very experienced Gardener of Friendship. Thanks to Leslie, I felt renewed.

After dinner, we joined the other duos, and trios, and groups of friends who gathered on the dock to await the sunset. Leslie and I reclaimed the double deckchair where we had started our wonderful day of retreat. And as I sat there watching the last rays of daylight paint golden outlines around a bank of white, puffy clouds, I felt a sense of awe ~ but not only for the visible beauty of this day. More importantly, I was in awe of the inner feeling of spiritual healing that I received from this day of relaxing reconnection.

As I wrote in my journal,

"Our society's fast-paced, "got to get it done right now" way of life, requires us to be so intent on our plans for who we should be tomorrow, that we start to forget who we are today, and how we got to be this person. Today has reminded me that sometimes the best thing I can do for myself is to stop looking ahead, stop going, going, going. Just STOP! And then ... back up. Just step back ~ both physically, and inwardly ~ like Leslie and I did today.

"We backed up from our "to do's" and our "have to's," and we allowed ourselves the gift of rediscovering the Heart of Who we are. We took time to see the beautiful mosaic of the many past selves that we have been, and to feel how all of the colors of those selves shine through us right at this very moment.

"Leslie and I are no longer working together everyday at a lobbyist group, but the experiences we gathered there continue to inform and influence us every day ~ even as we sit in a screen house doing astrology charts. And in doing those astrology charts, we re-awaken two teenagers that sat across from each other in an art class, admiring and encouraging each other's creative talents.

"Maybe I am just in an ultra reminiscent mood from sorting through all of the old papers in my home office (which is another way to Back Up). But, as the golden outlines of the sun disappear from the clouds ~ and this experience fades into another memory ~ I think the lesson for today is to find more opportunities to "Back Up". In Backing Up, we get a wider view of our life and a better understanding of why we are facing the particular path that lies ahead of us now. What better gift can we give to a friend or loved one? And can there be a more precious gift to receive?"

Now I invite you to take a day
(or just this moment right now)
to

Back Up.

Who is the first friend that comes to mind
when you think about taking
a day-long getaway for
personal renewal, rediscovery, and celebration?

Why that friend?

What is important to you about the person(s) you are
~ or person(s) you were ~
in the company of this particular friend?

Now go ahead,
call your friend
and make plans for a day to
Back Up.

Distance separates you?
You can work that out.
Be creative.
It will be worth it to give yourself and your friend
the gift of rediscovering
the Heart of Who you are.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.
And let us know know how it worked out to
Go Ahead and Back Up

We joyfully welcome your thoughts and feelings.
Simply click on "Comments" below.

Peace & Light to You,
Jae

Generations

2008-07-11T22:22:00.018-04:00

This week I would like to honor the passing of a generation from my life. And in the process of that honoring, I invite you to look at your own way of living ~ how the person that you are reflects the generations who have gone before you, and illuminates the generations that will follow.

I had planned to write about Life's Crossroads ~ you know, those significant decision points that we all face from time to time. But then, last night ~ a little after eleven o'clock ~ my daughter, Gina, called to tell me that Gramma had died (her father's mother).

We had been anticipating this passing. Betty had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer months ago. Arrangements were made to fulfill her wishes that she die in her home with all of her seven children ~ and their adult children ~ around her. I joined the family's vigil in spirit by lighting a candle with a butterfly next to it, as a symbol of transformation.

Now I ask that you please indulge me for a few paragraphs
as I talk about this special woman.

Maybe you know someone like her.

Betty was my “mom-in-law” for eleven years, but she has been “Ma” and a dear friend for 38 years. Once you become a part of Betty's family, no spousal separation agreement or divorce decree can ever sever those family ties. Attend any of her birthday celebrations or family gatherings, and there you will meet up with other ex-sons- and ex-daughters-in-law, along with their new spouses. Why? Because we love Ma. Why? Because she was so accepting of us and anyone we loved. She may have gotten angry with you, but she never stopped caring about you, because she understood that everyone has their own personal frailties.

As I sit here on a park bench, just feet away from our little Lake Hampton, I can imagine Betty sitting here with me. She would love the peaceful beauty of this place. She would enjoy watching the ducks. But she would love interacting with the people. For unlike me ~ who can simply walk and marvel at this Healing Circle of Strangers ~ Betty would be interested in knowing something about each and every one of those strangers. And I am sure that after a few days of her sitting on this bench, a regular group of people would have been sitting here with her. They would be sharing their life stories, family news, and daily gripes. Why? Because people just knew that she loved people.

Throughout her 83 years of life, Betty collected a treasure trove of friendships and acquaintances, the networking power of which rivals the strength of many U.S. Ambassadors. Considering she didn't drive a car or travel more than a few hundred miles away from home when she went on vacation with her daughters, it is amazing how many people she knew. Mention to Betty that you were looking for something ~ like a bookcase, or a used rug in good condition ~ and within hours, she would be on the phone, spreading the word, and finding someone who had exactly what you needed. Her phone line was almost always busy and her front door was always opening to a family of friends and neighbors.

So, what will I miss most about Betty? That's easy. Her sense of humor. Although she faced many personal tragedies and some tremendous life challenges that might have made others bitter, Betty was always able to find something to laugh about. She had a wit that was as quick, as her big heart was forgiving. I am sure that her passing has created an emotional ripple effect that will travel throughout her interconnections of family, friends and acquaintances from coast to coast.

But, didn't I say this article was about passing generations
~ about how they influence our lives
and shape who we are in this world?

Yes I did.

I can see in my daughter, Gina, her grandmother's willingness to make time for anyone who needs help. My ex-sister-in-law and life friend, Leslie, reflects her mother's joy in being with and getting to know people. She too has a treasure-trove of friends and acquaintances from virtually every walk of life. Betty's ability to find a moment of humor in even the most difficult situation has become an important aspect of every one of her children and grandchildren ... and every once in awhile, that ability will even show up in those of us who are ex-daughters-in law.

Having said goodbye to my parents, my husband's mother, and now Betty, I've come to realize that with each generation's passing, the next generation takes a step up. Each generation takes their turn to hold the light that illuminates the Mirror of Life into which the next generation will peer and find another way of seeing and defining themselves.

Now I invite you to look into the Mirror of Life with me.

What aspects of you do/will
your children, nieces, nephews or younger cousins reflect?

What do you like about you?
And how does that trait reflect an older generation?

What would you like to change about you?
Is it an “inherited” trait that you
wish could end with your generation?

Have you shared those feelings with anyone?

Sharing could be the first step
to an important generational change.

So, in honor of Betty

and in honor of
each of our reflections in the
Mirror of Life,

I send you Peace and Butterfly Light.

Jae

Mother Nature's Fireworks

2008-07-04T13:05:00.036-04:00

Mother Nature Presents
her very own 4th of July display:

Organic Fireworks

presented for your viewing pleasure all Summer long.

Appearing in city parks,
at almost every neighborhood intersection,
along nearly every country road.

See all the colors of the rainbow
in countless shapes and forms,
appearing in quiet, serene splendor.

Enjoy!

(photos by Jae)

I found this sparkling display of color in my own neighborhood.
Have fun finding your own organic fireworks.

Peace & Light,
Jae

T-Shirt Life Review

2008-06-27T13:21:00.121-04:00

Today's pearls of accidental wisdom come to you from the air conditioned comfort of my home. At 8:40 in the morning, it is already a very humid 73 degrees outside, and temperatures are expected to go up quickly into the mid- to high-80s. Of course, those of you in the Deep South are probably saying to yourselves, “What a wimp! She thinks that's hot!?” Yes, I do. It is on days like this one that I miss the cool, summer fog of San Francisco.

Since I will not be taking my daily walk until it cools down this evening, assisting me today ~ filling in for all of our animal friends around little Lake Hampton ~ is my shy cat, "Holly with the Big Green Eyes". She likes to sit near me as I type; and every once in awhile, she'll come over and poke me with her nose, or tap me with a paw, to remind me that it is time for me to adore her.

By design, I do not have any clients on Fridays. So, Friday is my day to do household chores. The first assignment ... the laundry ... which I usually start within a half-hour of having my morning coffee. Actually, I don't mind doing the laundry. It's a heck-of-a-lot better than grocery shopping ~ although Beth, my “I Love to Cook” friend, would beg to differ.

But being an organizational coach, laundry is a process that kind of fits right in with my natural approach to life. You gather clothes, and sort them into piles of like-things, and then clean those things by tossing them into the washer and dryer. Finally, you fold, organize them into “put away piles” and then put them away. And I can be doing other things while the washer and dryer are doing their thing.

Of course, there's only my husband and I creating our dirty laundry so I usually have only two loads of wash. So, granted, I probably wouldn't feel so good about this process if I had a week's worth of wash for several children. Whoa! I just got a flashback of my daughter's teen years . . the “wear it five minutes and throw it on the floor” era of her life.

Breathing ... breathing ... releasing ...
letting go of the scary memory ....

Okay, I'm back.

As I was saying, I don't really mind doing the laundry. Actually, when I get to the folding stage, sometimes I use it as an opportunity to do a gentle inner journey ... a sort of mini Life Review. And what do I use to guide me on that journey?

T-shirts.

No really. Think about it. You buy them as mementos of a trip you took, a concert you saw, or a special event you attended. Friends and family members buy one for you as a gift/memento from their vacation. You seldom have to wonder where they came from, because they most often have the city and/or state name right on them. And sometimes, they even have dates on them, so you don't have figure out when you got them.

Like this oldie but goody, from 1997, when I still worked in politics. I was the Communications Director for the County Legislators and Supervisors Association, a membership lobbyist group. It was one of my very favorite jobs.

Every year at our annual conference, our Executive Director gave each of the staff members a token thank you gift for all of the hours and hard work we put into making the event happen. This T-shirt has special meaning for me because of its connection to the staff's behind the scenes conference theme of The Wizard of Oz. I cast myself as the Wicked Witch of the West, and the E.D. had this T made especially for me. It was the last conference I did with them; I moved to the San Francisco Bay Area about a month later.

And speaking of moving to San Francisco, here's a San Fran T that I bought on our big recognizance trip to find an apartment. My husband was going to be moving about a month ahead of me. So, I wore this quite often during that month to feel connected with him until I could join him.

And then there's Maui. Strangely, Hawaii is a place I had never felt compelled to visit. It was my husband's idea to go there for the holidays in December of 1999. Wow! What a magical place. And every time I put this on, I'm wearing lots of magical memories.

[Holly Cat Adoration Break]

Now this next T-shirt brings me to a special time in life. By September of 2001, we were living back in Upstate New York. (The life of a computer geek can be quite transient.) With this relocation, I had the opportunity to continue my education, studying the holistic psychology of Psychosynthesis by training at The Synthesis Center in Amherst, Massachusetts. The artwork on this special T is the work of one of my Trainers, Clare Goodwin. She is an artist who has a special interest in creating Mandalas. She is also an astrologer, and it was great to have a teacher with whom I could share that interest.

This next T brings back memories of a fun afternoon during a chaotic time of life. 2003 was a particularly difficult year. Work layoffs, two unexpected deaths among family and friends, and the growing pains of reinventing my vision for my professional future. In the midst of all of that craziness, my husband and I attended the grand opening of the Guitar Center in Albany, NY. Both musicians (he plays bass and I play keyboards), music is how we met. As two of the first 100 people to enter the store, we each got a free T-shirt. We spent a lot of time playing instruments and checking out CDs and sheet music. All we could afford to buy that day was a set of guitar strings. But we had so much fun in that couple of hours. And, these T-shirts are our favorite things to wear to just lounge around the house.

And for the grand finale . . . here's my favorite T to wear for fun. Lots of dragonflies adorn both the front and back. Dragonflies are my very favorite beings in nature, and they tend to gather around me when I take walks in areas that they inhabit. This T also has a connection to California. I bought it in a little country store just off Highway 1. I was there with Connie B, who has been a dear friend since 1972. We had flown out to attend the Women's Dream Quest, held every year at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco.

So ends my guided Life Review via folding T-shirts.

I'll bet as you have been reading this,
you've started to do your own T-shirt Life Review.

Do you have a favorite T-shirt ~ or sweatshirt ~
with special memories attached to it?

Or maybe the memory is connected one of
your son's or daughter's Ts.

Why not share the story with us now.

And the next time you start folding that laundry,
take advantage of another opportunity to do a
T-Shirt Life Review.

Peace & Light.

Jae
(and Holly)

Go See if the Ocean is Still There: A Lesson in "Just Be"

2008-06-20T12:25:00.040-04:00

After a couple of rainy days, I'm back at little Hampton Lake Park. It's about nine o'clock in the morning, and I've just completed my walk. (For those of you who were with me for our photo tour of Hampton Lake ... no Turtle photos yet, but I'll keep trying.)

My walk time today was 15m 32s.
And now I will take at least 15m 32s to simply sit here by the water and ....
Just Be.

Big Sigh!

As I sit here at my favorite picnic table, I'm thinking that long ago ~ before September of 1997 ~ this “just being” time would never have happened. The Workaholic Me would never have allowed so much time to be wasted just sitting around. I may have done the walk, because it had a good purpose ... like losing weight ... or because I tend to problem-solve better while I'm in motion. But I would have made sure that I always finished under my 15 minute time limit. And eventually, I might have turned this into a competition with myself, to finish the mile faster and faster by mixing in some jogging with my walking. Eventually, I probably would have been jogging the whole mile, or maybe two.

Would that have been a bad thing?

Not really ... if I truly enjoyed jogging. But I don't. I have the greatest respect for people who do like jogging. And every once in awhile, I try it again. But I still don't like it. It's not my joy. So, the bad part of that self-competition thing would have been losing to my stop watch the joy of just being in this beautiful place.

Actually, as I think about it, Workaholic Me would not have allowed me to even sit here handwriting this piece, even though technically I'm still working. I would have felt like it was a waste of time. So I would have jot down a few keywords and quick thoughts, and then gone straight to my office to type this on my computer. After all, I type over 120 words a minute; therefore, I can type almost as fast as I can talk. That's being more efficient. That saves time. And how you spend your time is as important as how you spend your money. That's what the old me ~ the Director me ~ would have thought.

By the way, one of the little muskrats just swam by.
And ...
A little girl has just discovered that geese are taller than she is.
Thus, she is adamantly requesting her daddy to immediately, “Pick me up!!”

But to continue ...

Exactly when did I discover the joy of “Just Be”?

Ironically, it was at a point in my life when I had the least amount of free time than ever before. My “Computer Geek Husband” and I were living in Northern California near San Francisco. He was putting in those crazy "on-call 24-7" Silicon Valley hours. I was working as an Administrative Director at a large counseling agency, going to college full time, and flying back and forth to Upstate New York to help my sister and daughter deal with my aging parents' health problems. Plus, of course, there was the usual day-to-day household stuff.

I must have looked particularly harried ~ or a little crazed ~ on that way-too-busy midweek afternoon when my Executive Director boss turned to me and said, “Jae, why don't you go see if the ocean's still there.” I stared at him blankly, not at all able to take in the words, much less figure out their cryptic meaning. So, he pointed toward the front door, and said, “You need a break. Go out and look at the ocean. We'll come get you if we need you.”

And so, dazed and confused, I did as I was told.

Now, having lived in Upstate New York most of my life, I fully realize that not everyone is lucky enough to have an ocean view two blocks away from their office. But on that day, I was so happy that I did. And I was in awe that I was working in a place where people would even think of sending me out to look at the ocean because they thought I needed a break. So, as I just stood there on the bluffs overlooking the Pacific, the Workaholic Me had nothing to criticize me about, because I was just following my boss's orders.

When I finally just had to steel a quick look at my watch, I was amazed that five minutes had gone by already. And in that moment, I could feel that my tensed-up shoulders had started to drop. I remember taking a deep breath and slowly sighing it out. I remember that because this was such a pivotal moment in my life. As my tensed shoulders let down, I realized that all of my upper body muscles were aching and that I had a headache. And I began to wonder how many other times I had been so tensed up that I didn't even realize how much my body was hurting.

So I decided to stand there for a little while longer. It was okay; they would come get me if they needed me. And as I continued to “Just Be” with that ocean view and the damp, salt-water air, my headache started to fade, and I began to feel better with each passing moment. I became fully aware of the sounds of the churning waves and calls of the gulls. These beautiful sounds washed away that ongoing inner dialogue of “what I have to do yet ...” which we too-busy people of the world often have playing in our minds.

And then ... surprise! I realized that I needed to eat something! I had been so intent on the high-priority list of things that had to be done at work that day ~ and whether I was ready for the class I had to attend that night ~ that I had forgotten to eat. No wonder I felt lousy!

And . . . here's the aha moment . . . If I felt lousy inwardly, I was probably, unintentionally, projecting that lousy feeling to everyone around me. I cringed as I thought about how many years this had been my normal mode of operating.

Looking around to my right, it occurred to me that I could continue to follow orders, and just look at the ocean, from the coffee shop window on the corner. So, I decided to take care of that hunger ~ to take care of me. And to the delight of that Workaholic Me and the Director part of me, came the realization that by taking care of me, I was taking care of our staff, which would help everyone to be able to do better work. By being nice to myself, I would become nicer to work with and work around. And thus I would be helping to create a better environment for every person who came into our agency. Which, of course, included . . . me! It would be an infinite loop of of joy and more effective productivity! Way cool!

So now, today, as I am sitting back at my desk, typing in this posting, I invite you to check in with you.

How are you feeling right now?
Are your shoulders tight and scrunched up?
Are your muscles achy?

Do you have a headache from taking in too much information?
Or from keeping track of that inner “to do” list?

Do you need to take a break? Have a snack?
Or really just sit down and eat a good lunch or dinner?

What have you done to take care of you today?
(which also helps to create a nicer working and living environment)

What have you done ~ or will you do ~ to give yourself
a little time to Just Be?

If you don't have your own idea for this "Just Be" thing right now, here's a quick fix.

Just scroll down to the photo of our little Hampton Lake.
Double-click on it to enlarge the image.
And for just five minutes,
sit back . . . relax . . . look into the water . . . and . . .

JUST BE.

Peace & Light to You,
Jae

(As always, your comments are joyfully welcomed.)

A Healing Circle of Strangers

2008-06-17T10:24:00.089-04:00

As I write this first posting for Healing Circles, I have just finished my usual morning walk around little Hampton Lake near Albany, NY. Just a five minute drive from our apartment, my husband insists this is a pond. But the sign on the town building near the small beach assures me that this is Hampton Lake Park. Like many lakes, Hampton has a road that hugs its shoreline. Aptly named Shore Line Drive, this narrow country road clocks exactly a one-mile loop. The perfect place for an easily-planned, no-fuss exercise program, a quick journey around this tiny lake also offers a beautiful opportunity to experience the wonder of nature and to wonder at the nature of our how we experience life.

There are many of us “over-55” regulars ~ and lots of younger people too ~ who do a daily morning, afternoon, or evening walk, jog, run, bike, whatever, around this peaceful little circle of water. Most of us don't know each other by name, but we do know each others' faces as we pass in opposite directions ~ or even recognize body shapes, as we catch up to someone from behind and pass by them. We greet each other with “good mornings” or “how are yous” as we each quietly continue on our own way.

But, it is not only the human encounters that make this circular journey such an important part of my day. As much as I look forward to seeing “Young Jogging Lady with Blonde Ponytail” or “Taller Version of a Young Wilford Brimley”, I truly relish seeing my animal friends. As “Lady with the Gilligan Hat” voiced so well one day, “Don't you just love being a part of this little place in Nature?” And I do.

I know that most mornings, if I arrive at the lake parking lot before 8:30, I will be rewarded by getting to witness the noisy, honking show of a V-shaped geese-landing on the water. Or if the geese have already landed, they will hurry toward me to see if I've brought any bread for them to eat.

Just like people, geese have many different personalties. There are pushy geese who adamantly demand there due with much squawking and some hissing. There are shy geese who stand off to the side waiting to be noticed. There are geese that work in teams, pushing together toward you, until you are forced to just throw a lot of bread pieces up in the air. And of course there are the non-conformists, who just stay in the water, flapping their wings, dunking and cleaning themselves.

When the bread supply is depleted, I head out of the parking lot gate and start walking down the small hill. Why don't you join me.

Just a quick note before we continue . . .
Unless otherwise noted, the beautiful photos you see here
are the work of my professional photographer brother-in-law, Jerry Skrocki.

Staying along the lake side of the road, I may catch sight of one of the little muskrats paddling near the shore and then diving underwater to find food. Until I started doing this walk, I had never seen a muskrat up close. They are fascinating to watch. If you are interested in learning more about them, check out My Links. It was very unusual to see one of the little critters climb up on a stump that was sticking out of the water. I had just enough time to snap these two shots before s/he dove back into the water. (Thanks to Jerry for fixing up my photos.)

Often wildlife meets domesticated animals along the lake. Here a familiar kitty saunters across the road, pretending she is a tiger stalking prey. Field mice beware!

The yellow sign reads:
SLOW DOWN. Kitties & Kiddies At Play.

Further along, down the hill ~ about a quarter of the way along my walk ~ there are several large weeping willows that hang over the lake.

Just around the curve from here, I will usually see duck families and more geese. May and June has offered wonderful opportunities to watch up close both ducklings and goslings swimming and playing around under the watchful eyes of their proud mommas and poppas. Talk about how quickly children grow up ~ it's amazing how fast those little fluffy, downed birds increase in size. Geese babies that were up to my shins just two weeks ago, are now thigh-high.

Continuing around the lake, as I reach the halfway point along my route, I will be able to look straight across the lake to where my car is parked. (Another one of my photos, sans Jerry's help.)

There are always lots of birds singing in the large elms, maples and oaks that line this side of the shore. Other than your usual sparrows and robins, I'm not good at identifying birds. But I do know a hawk when I see one, and I have seen many here. And of course, there are the ever-present crows, gleaming blue-purple and black in the sunlight. Hawk and Crow represent powerful energy in the Native American tradition. According to The Medicine Cards (Sams, J. & Carson, D., Bear & Company, Santa Fe, NM, 1988), Hawk is a Messenger, and Crow represents the Law ... the Universal Law that is.

Over the past few days, there has been a Blue Heron visiting our little lake. Its presence has gotten a lot of attention. For such a big bird, it has been very difficult to get a photo of her/him. But yesterday, my husband managed to capture a very distant view of this amazing bird. Look closely ... s/he is at the center of the photo at the far edge of the water.

Not far past the half-point ~ which is approximately where the Heron is ~ I always look for the small family of turtles that are usually sunning themselves on an old fallen log, which sticks out of the water near the shore. Got to be quiet though. If they sense you peeking at them, they will quickly slip themselves right back into the lake. Whoops! Missed them again. But I'll keep trying to get that picture.

And so our walk continues. As I reach the three-quarter mile point, I go past a thick, tall stance of marsh reeds. Here I will sometimes catch up with one of the muskrat family again or at least hear something rustling and splashing.

My walk is almost done at this point. As the lake juts to the right, Shoreline Drive opens up to a place where a side road connects near a group of small houses. Soon, I will see the neatly trimmed field, basketball court, tennis courts, and kiddies' playground next to the parking lot where my car is. (Respecting people's privacy, no pictures here.)

Also located along the edge of this area is this wonderful marshy channel, where you can hear bull frogs croaking away, but you just can't find them.

And so I am back where I began. Checking my watch, I assess whether I managed to do that mile in less than 15 minutes. If not, I've spent too much time communing with my nature friends. Often a second loop is required.

But this morning, as I sit at a picnic table near the water, writing this to you, I'm watching a grandmother and her toddler grandson toss bread to the ducks and geese. And it reminds me that the real reason I come to this little lake every day has almost nothing to do with the physical benefits of the walk I take. Much more important is the joy that I experience from these simple, natural moments of becoming a part of nature's beauty and noticing my own aliveness in these moments.

Plus ~ even more ethereal, yet emotionally palpable ~ is the wonder of sharing this experience with a Circle of Strangers. Surprisingly, it is similar to a Circle of Friends who have known each other for years, and through their shared experiences can say paragraphs with two or three simple words. Like those old friends, this Circle of Strangers on the Lake ~ with familiar faces and recognizable body shapes ~ can express to each other the freshness of a summer afternoon shower, the calmness of an autumn morning's mist resting on the water, the joy of a bright, sun-warmed winter morning, the gentleness of a spring duckling's down.

All that, by simply saying, “Good Morning.”

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This Circle of Strangers on the Lake is one of my favorite Healing Circles. I invite you share some of your thoughts and feelings. Do you have a circle of strangers?

It is my hope that as we continue to share in this Gathering Place for Nurturing the Feminine Spirit, that this will become one of your favorite places to visit.

Peace & Light,

Jae